


The French-Canadian Way

by Ashynarr



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: And by that I mean he's the biggest flirt in North America, French!Matthew, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-09
Updated: 2015-07-14
Packaged: 2018-03-11 09:13:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 26,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3321953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashynarr/pseuds/Ashynarr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In canon, Matthew was raised by Francis and Arthur, but didn't turn out too much like either on the surface. What if he'd taken after his founding Nations just a bit more?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hello, Goodbye

The carriage shook briefly as it rolled over and off a rock in its path, the weight of the wheel causing the rock to shoot off to the side a short distance. The horses pulling it were unperturbed, continuing their easy plod down the empty road with minimal correction from the driver sitting behind them.

The two inside the carriage barely noted the incident any more than the man outside, having experienced many similar bumps during their journey and well aware of many more to come. The elder man, known to some as Arthur Kirkland and a handful as England, looked over the documents in his hands, seemingly ignoring the person sitting across from him.

Likewise, the younger man - barely out of boyhood, all things told - glared sullenly out the window at the slowly passing fields, just as content to ignore his companion, even at the price of a tense silence. His name was Mathieu Kirkland (nee Bonnefoy) - otherwise known as New France or Canada - and he was not pleased with his current situation.

' _Traded over to the enemy just to end a stupid war in Europe,'_  His mind muttered, causing his lips to press together. ' _I should have guessed Francis would do anything to get himself those islands he always went on about. Favorite colony, my ass.'_

Though the nation of France had looked fairly apologetic when the deal had been finalized, Mathieu knew his  _pap_ \- his former caretaker far too well to not also catch the brief glimpse of relief in his eyes - probably at no longer having to deal with a moody, icy wasteland of a colony.

(In the depths of his heart, he conceded he was being unfair, but the wound of betrayal and shock was still too fresh and festering to allow himself to acknowledge the thought.)

"You know," Arthur spoke up, still focused on his documents. "You could at least pretend to be grateful for what I've done for you so far."

Mathieu ground his teeth together, but refused to rise to the bait.

The older Nation continued, "I could have done much worse than just bring you under my control; I recall you've been raised Catholic?"

"Mm." He knew Arthur could easily order his land's official faith to be changed, should he want to. The fact that he hadn't only left Mathieu wondering when he'd get around to it.

"In addition, this will finally end the border skirmishes between you and Alfred, which is something I'm sure both of you are looking forward to."

 _Alfred_. What an utterly inelegant and ugly name. He supposed it suited a stuffy, drab British colony, though he couldn't really reconcile the idea with his dim memories of the wide-eyed crybaby who'd follow him around while carrying his rabbit friend.

" _Kanata!" His lighter eyed mirror image giggled, running up to his spot by the riverbank. "Kanata, let's play!"_

Mathieu shook his head. Those days were long gone, the children they'd both been with it, and it was stupid to miss something that was never coming back. The most he could hope for was a lukewarm animosity after their recent battle, no matter how much Arthur waved away the events as a spat. Maybe in a few years they'd get along better, but for the older Nation to expect anything else was as stupid as he'd expect of the British.

 _'You're British now, though'_ , his mind reminded him.

 _'Not yet'_ , he shot back with a grimase, unable to deny the inevitability of the situation but refusing to accept it.

"I see you can't even be bothered to pay attention when your superiors are speaking to you," Arthur cut in sharply, dragging Mathieu from his thoughts. Indigo met green, a mutual disapproval reached in seconds. "Hopefully you'll pick up some manners while staying with your new brother, or at least better English skills."

 _New_  brother? Mathieu snorted, still marvelling at how neither of the older Nations seemed to realize that the two colonies found suspiciously near each other with suspiciously similar looks had already been in contact before they'd been separated by the hundreds of miles between their new domains.

Arthur, of course, misinterpreted, scowling even more fiercely. "Don't think for a second I won't hesitate to revoke my previous mercies if you fail to come through on your end of the deal. You might have gotten away with such disrespect while under that frog's care, but I will not accept it directed towards me. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir." Mathieu replied quietly, managing to keep most of the annoyance out of his voice. Seriously, you'd think Mathieu was considering rebellion or something with how uptight the Brit was being.

He was a colony, and even if he hated it, he knew his place in the world.

Arthur seemed to accept the reply, letting his disapproving gaze bore into the Canadian a bit longer before returning to his documents, the carriage returning to sullen silence as it shook and rattled onwards.

~0~0~

Mathieu had believed, rather understandably, that Alfred's house wouldn't be much larger than his own. Maybe a few extra rooms, sure, since the weather was warmer and the land more settled, but  _this_ -

"Matthew, hurry up!" Arthur called from the front door of the two story mansion, slightly to the side to allow the humans he'd hired temporarily to carry the baggage from the carriage inside.

Swallowing and looking over the huge place again, he slowly made his way over to Arthur's side, allowing himself to be shooed inside and out of the way of the workers. The main hall seemed to stretch on forever, and with a twist he forced himself to look at the waiting room he was standing in front of instead.

 _Tabernac_ , how spoiled  _was_  his brother?

As if summoned by his thoughts, Mathieu just caught the sound of feet stamping against the floor before a blue and blond blur skidded around the corner and all but slammed into Arthur. Mathieu took the opportunity presented to look over his brother, noting the smudged work attire and mussy hair he was sporting. Nose wrinkling slightly, he realized Alfred also smelt like horse. Just what had he been doing?

Whatever conversation the two had been having stopped, Arthur gesturing to him with something that was probably 'And this is Matthew, your new brother', even with his weak grasp of English. Alfred turned away from the older Nation to look him over, their eyes meeting just before the northern colony was blinded with a smile the force of the sun.

Wait, when had he ended up on the floor? And why were his ears ringing?

"Kanada! Mattie!" Ah, apparently his brother had only gotten stronger over the last century. Not to mention louder. And even more chattery. Not entirely unexpected but definitely… somewhat better that he'd been expecting.

A sudden image of the boy above him with Arthur's eyebrows and scowl almost had him laughing, though he bit it back at the last second. The elder Nation, meanwhile, had seemed to catch up to the situation enough to haul the southern colony off of him. Mathieu picked himself off the floor and wiped off some of the dust from his shirt while Alfred was chastised, his brother sulking all the while.

Eventually Alfred turned back to him, ducking his head slightly as he apologized (or so Mathieu guessed), bouncing straight back into a bouncy grin the second Arthur ruffled his hair and made a shooing motion at the two of them. Wait, was that a smile the Brit was wearing? Would wonders never cease?

Alfred took the opportunity provided by his temporary distraction to grab him, all but dragging him down the hall and up the stairs before Mathieu thought to start jogging along to keep his arm in its socket. After several turns that he thought he might be able to figure out later on, the southern colony dragged him into what was likely his bedroom before letting go, turning back to him with a slightly less blinding smile.

"Mattie…" He started, biting down on his lip and rocking on his heels as he kept eye contact.

"Mathieu." The northern colony corrected, the first time he'd gotten a word in edgewise since he'd gotten here. He tried desperately to call on the frustration he'd been maintaining on and off for years, but it seemed to have all vanished somewhere along the way. Feeling rather unsure of what to do next, he sighed and smiled softly. "Hey, Alfred."

Alfred paused in his rocking, grin widening as he surged forward to pull his brother into another hug. Mathieu returned it after a bit, shutting his eyes as he heard his brother mumble something into his shoulder. "I missed you too."

Pulling back, he had to hide a grin at how teary Alfred had already gotten. It seemed some things never changed, Mathieu mused as he helped Alfred wiped some of them away. "I see you're still a crybaby after all these years."

The reply was instantaneous, and Mathieu didn't need to know a lick of English to know it was a firm denial of the statement Alfred hadn't understood at all. He laughed, shoving at Alfred before remembering the other still smelled like horse and seriously needed to change. "Christ, at least change before you try and hug me again, why don't you?"

Judging by the blank look, Alfred had no idea what he was talking about. Sighing, Mathieu pointed at him before clasping a hand over his own nose and waving the air away. In seconds the southern colony had caught on, giggling behind a hand before he stopped, eyes gleaming. Mathieu only caught on to his brother's plan seconds before the American lunged again, the two caught up in a brief race before Alfred managed to pin him down and do his best to rub as much of the smell on Mathieu as possible.

It once again took Arthur's intervention to get Alfred off, though Mathieu made a good attempt at escaping in the meantime.

(...Maybe it wouldn't be too bad here, after all.)

~0~0~

"Alfred?" Mathieu called through the corridors, frowning. He'd exhausted all his brother's usual hangouts already, and he doubted the other was in town, considering all the horses were accounted for. With nothing else to go on, he'd resorted to calling for him, hoping that his brother would at some point respond.

"Alfre-" He started again, only to stop when a chance glance into the library showed the person he'd been looking for for almost half an hour curled into one of the chairs, mumbling quietly to himself while reading.

Huh. Not his usual pastime. "Alfred?"

Alfred looked up, blinking as his mind came back from wherever it'd been residing. "Mattie?"

"You completely missed lunch," The Canadian informed him, walking over to see what'd so intrigued his brother.

"Oh, I did?" The American shook his head. "Explains why I'm so hungry, then."

"What are you looking at?" Mathieu frowned as he came around the seat, seeing the thin sheaf of papers.

"Ah, nothing," Alfred replied, scratching lightly at the bottom of his ear. "Just something I picked up in town."

Mathieu pursed his lips. "Don't tell me thats that anti-British work that's been getting popular."

"It's not anti-British!" Alfred snapped back, frowning. "It's just- asking why we can't keep looking after our own affairs if we can't even get a word in for ourselves back in England."

"We're just colonies; what do you expect, for the King to just start listening to us?"

"We're citizens just as much as the people across the ocean; why don't we have a say in things?" Alfred shook his head. "I know we're colonies, Matt, and I'm not asking for much - just one person, two at most, who can speak for us over there where we can't."

Mathieu sighed. "I'm sure Arthur will get around to it eventually; he's probably just busy dealing with Europe. Have you tried writing to him?"

"Dozens of times." Alfred sighed, slumping into his seat. "If he responds at all, it's basically saying 'I'll deal with it later'. I just-" The American paused, hand grasping as he searched for his next words. "I want him to stop treating us like we're still little kids. We've been taking care of ourselves for the most part for more than a century now; can't he see we're responsible enough to speak for our own people?"

"We're still a lot younger than the rest of Europe," Mathieu pointed out. "To them, we  _are_  still just kids. Besides, what can we do to convince them to listen to us?"

"...I don't know, Matt… I don't think there's anything we  _can_  do short of forcing them to listen."

Mathieu reeled back. "Alfred, you aren't seriously considering fighting-"

Alfred blinked, then waved his hands to negate the idea. "No way, I still wanna talk to Arthur first. I know if we can just sit down together I can get him to come around to my side of things, and then everyone'll be happy again." The American looked to his brother, hopeful. "Maybe if we both ask he'll be even more willing?"

"I don't know, Alfred…" Mathieu frowned. "I'll think about it."

"That's all I'm asking for, Mattie." Alfred promised, looking far more relaxed now. "We'll avoid any sort of fighting and be all diplomatic; That should prove we're responsible enough."

Mathieu nodded in reply, biting the inside of his cheek to avoid mentioning that he thought Alfred was getting his hopes too high. He didn't know Arthur nearly as well as Alfred did, so who knew, Alfred might be right after all.

~0~0~

How had everything ended up like this?

" _Your actions have proven you a traitor to the crown."_

" _But I didn't do anything!"_

" _You questioned your rightful king!"_

" _And you killed my people for no reason!"_

Mathieu stared blankly out the carriage window, mind playing the events of the last few weeks over and over.

" _Why won't you just listen for once?"_

" _You're just an impertinent child; what could you have to say that's so important?"_

_Alfred's face twisted into a rage the Canadian had never seen before, his inch over Arthur somehow swelling. "That you're just an old blowhard who can't even see the people he's stepping on while pleasuring his lordship."_

_The slap echoed in the sudden silence of the hall, Mathieu closing his eyes and wincing._

Alfred was gone, fighting a futile war against the British Empire, while he was being sent back to his small cabin 'for his own safety'.

" _Mathieu," Alfred spoke quietly, with an authority the Canadian hadn't realized his brother could manage. He'd even pronounced the name he always struggled with correctly this time. "We're going."_

" _You aren't going anywhere," Arthur growled, stepping forward to grab Alfred, only to stop in horror as the younger grabbed his wrist, in one easy motion snapping it before letting it drop. "You-"_

" _Mathieu," He turned to the Canadian, nothing of the fun-loving crybaby brother he remembered in his face or body. This wasn't Maska or Alfred._

_This was America. And that knowledge made it somehow easier to clench his fists together, look the would-be Nation in the eyes, and say, "Non."_

Arthur - England - could not afford Canada falling into American hands. Mathieu couldn't afford it either. He'd already been a prize of war; he wasn't eager to trade hands again so soon after that experience, especially when he knew there was no way the southern colony could win this fight.

Alfred was looking after the affairs of his people.

Mathieu had to do the same.

_There was a flash of anger and betrayal behind the fire in his brother's eyes, but he did nothing but turn away, locking eyes with Arthur one last time._

" _I declare my independence from you, you tyrant."_

_Arthur's eyes, on the other hand, were a roiling ocean, eager to drown the flames in its raging depths. "Don't expect me to be merciful when I crush your little rebellion."_

" _Don't underestimate me." And with that Alfred turned and left, his sudden absence leaving the house cold. Mathieu remembered lonely winters in his cabin, shivering under furs and wondering when his papa would return._

_For a brief moment, he wished he'd chosen to go with his brother instead._

A single tear rolled down his cheek, eventually falling to the seat below and sinking into the fabric, as if it'd never existed. The carriage continued on, heading towards an uncertain future while the young man inside was stuck in the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I'll get to the romance next chapter, I'm just putting in a bit more history / background stuff here. Basically what I'm getting at with this is that the two were separated as little kids and didn't meet again until after the French-Indian War. Then, of course, came the Revolution and all that other stuff and basically they never had the time to fully connect as brothers, even if they called each other that out of habit.
> 
> ...pfft, who am I kidding, I ship it even when it's completely incestuous. I have absolutely no shame, but on the other hand, neither will Mattie. Ehehehe...


	2. The Art of Seduction

" _Today, Mathieu, I am going to teach you about something very important."_

" _About what?"_

" _The art of seduction!"_

" _But I thought you already taught me about sex?"_

" _Oh, this is something different; after all, you can't expect to make love without a woman to do it with!"_

" _I guess."_

" _There's no need to be that way! Once I am done with you, you'll be able to charm any woman you wish into your bed."_

~0~0~0~

Mathieu smiled as Irunya stepped down the gangplank of the ship along with some of her people, looking exhausted from the long seabound journey. He didn't envy her the months of waiting to confirm there was somewhere safe and suitable for her people to settle, but was more than glad it didn't have to be his own pushed out west to break the land in.

"Hello, Miss Chernenko," He greeted once she was beside him, the two stepping out of the way of the others streaming slowly off the ship. "It's lovely to meet you."

"It's lovely to meet you as well, Mr. Kirkland." She greeted with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes as he took her hand and pressed his lips to it.

"I take it the trip went relatively well?" Mathieu asked, leading her away from the processing center her people were going through, as she was not here to stay like they were.

"As well as could be expected," Irunya replied, rolling her shoulders back to relieve some of the aches of the long boat trip. The brief grimace on her face at the action said much for how effective it was.

Mathieu, however, was more interested in the effect the gesture had on her chest, especially as she appeared to have forgone more than the most basic of supports for them, causing them to bounce ever so slightly with each step. Not even a blind man would mistake her for anything other than a fully grown woman, even with her soft face.

"How long do you expect you'll be staying?" He asked, focused on nothing below her chin lest he seem rude.

"I was told the ship would return to Europe in eight days," She sighed. "Which should give me enough time to make sure everything will be alright with my people before I go home again."

"You could stay with me if you like," The colony offered sincerely. "I wouldn't mind the company, and it'd let you have your own bed and food to relax with."

"That would be more than welcome," The Ukranian woman accepted, smiling a bit more honestly now. "I would not mind providing company for a few days."

Mathieu replied with a smile of his own, not missing the brief flicker of her glance over him, evaluating and coming to some sort of approval of what she saw. Wearing the blue suit had definitely been a wise idea today.

~0~0~0~

_"The first step is to make sure there's a mutual attraction from the start - looks are everything, and neither of you will get in the mood if the other one doesn't look their best."_

" _But how will I know if she thinks I look good?"_

" _Her gaze will linger on you; judging, evaluating, critical. If she likes it, she will smile or blush, and that's when you know you have a chance."_

" _What about me? How do I show her I like how she looks?"_

" _Simply put on your best smile and don't stare too long at anything other than her face. Women can be very touchy if you focus on things other than that for too long, even though you are simply admiring the bodies the Lord granted them."_

~0~0~0~

"You have a lovely house," Irunya complemented, sipping at the tea one of Mathieu's servants (actually Arthur's, but the man was never here, so in the end it was the same either way) had brought out for them before retreating.

"Thank you," He smiled around the rim of his own cup. "Though I doubt it compares to the splendor of the houses back in Europe."

"They are far grander, true, but they don't feel as comfortable to live in." She hummed thoughtfully, taking another sip. "I've never been able to sleep more than a day in any of them without feeling overwhelmed, even my brother's house."

The Canadian pressed his lips together in thought, trying to remember everything of the current dynamics of the continent across the ocean. "You mean Russia?"

"Yes; he's been so possessive of me and my sister since he got us back from Poland and Lithuania. I'm glad to see him having grown so big and strong, but sometimes I feel he has forgotten what it means to constantly be under another's control."

Mathieu could sympathize - as things were, he was fairly lucky in terms of how much freedom he had under Arthur's rule, though most of that was simply the inconvenient distances involved. If he had had nearly as many restrictions as her-

(-" _I declare my independence from you, you tyrant."_ -)

-He'd probably want to find ways around it as well.

"What was he like as a child, then? I've only heard a few things about him from Arthur, but you'd know him far better."

Irunya smiled softly, eyes starting to slide out of focus as she looked back the centuries to her own childhood. "Oh, he used to be the shyest little thing, always tending to the wildflowers he would find every spring. Even as he got older he would always have a garden of them he'd tend to in his free time. It was simply the sweetest thing, seeing him carefully pull away the other grasses so that the flowers would have room to grow."

Mathieu smiled as he saw her start to relax, her eyes half open as she continued to lose herself in the past. Her cup emptied twice during her storytelling, the Canadian refilling it once she set it down so that she didn't have to interrupt herself to do so.

"Thank you for listening to me ramble," She told him once she'd finished, finishing her last cup with a grateful smile. "I'm afraid I completely lost track of time."

"It's fine, I don't mind," He told her, smiling in turn. "Your siblings sound like interesting people."

"They are," Irunya admitted. "Even if we don't see each other all that often, we're still family, yes?"

"Yeah," Mathieu agreed quietly, thinking of his own brother to the south.

The look in her eyes told him she understood completely.

~0~0~0~

" _What comes next?"_

" _Ah, the next step is to charm her - make her feel comfortable and welcome, and show yourself to be a man of taste and thoughtfulness. This will ease her for the rest."_

" _How do I do that?"_

" _Let her talk about what she wishes; women love it when you listen to them speak about whatever is on their minds, and even more so if you show interest. Find topics she enjoys, and you'll find her warming up to you quickly."_

~0~0~0~

"You have a brother too, right?" Irunya asked. "What is he like?"

"You mean Alfred?" Mathieu hummed as he leaned back, thinking of his own distant past. "He's a big softie, really. Cries every time one of his pets gets hurt or killed. You should have seen the funerals he had for all his pet rabbits - he'd pray for them and everything."

"Really?" She leaned forward in interest.

"Mmhmm. He especially loves his horses - I've seen him drop everything to take care of them when they get sick, even though it annoyed Arthur to no end. I've heard he's taken up ranching over in California recently as a way to unwind for a few decades."

"I've never been good with horses," Irunya admitted. "The ones I use to help plow I always borrow from my neighbors, and most of the time it's them guiding the horses while I make sure the seeds go in after."

"Not everyone can be great with animals," Mathieu shrugged with a grin. "I'm sure there's plenty you're good at, though."

"Oh no, I wouldn't say that," She flushed, looking away. "I'm fairly good at knitting and sewing, and I'm a decent farmer, but other than that I'm nothing special."

"Nonsense," He replied, leaning forward to draw her gaze back towards him as he smiled winningly. "A woman as lovely and kind as you has to have many talents to her name."

"I'm flattered you think so," Irunya smiled, eyelashes lowering ever so slightly as she smiled abashedly.

"I'm sure you've heard such things a thousand times, but I simply can't help but reiterate them myself." He continued. "I'm almost afraid to ask how many men have fallen for your charms before me."

"Not nearly as many as you fear," She told him. "Many don't look to a farmer more than once."

"No? A shame for them, then, to pass up such a gem."

She laughed softly. "You really are Francis' child, aren't you, Mr. Kirkland?"

~0~0~0~

" _Once she's relaxed, you can start conveying your interest in her, but you must be smart about it. You must be subtle enough to not come off as desperate, but clear enough that she knows you're interested. If she returns it, she will also make it clear."_

" _What if she doesn't?"_

" _Then back off and accept she is not interested at the moment. If she seems interested later, you may resume, but until then, do not drive her away by striving too hard to get her into bed."_

" _But what if I can't tell?"_

" _Do the same; it's far better to assume she's not interested than to offend her by making too forward an unwanted advance. Remember, you are going to be a man of class, not some inelegant commoner."_

~0~0~0~

Mathieu grinned unashamed. "He did teach me a few things, I'll admit."

"How to be a charmer seems to be one of them," Irunya acknowledged, looking him over again.

"I'm afraid you're not the only one to be charmed, Miss Chernenko."

"Please, call me Iryna."

"Then call me Mathieu." He offered her a hand. "It just struck me that I have yet to show you to the guest rooms; I'm afraid I've been a poor host for that."

"Nonsense, I've had a wonderful time so far," She replied, accepting the hand up and not bothering to take it back when he started leading her towards the stairs. "You really know how to make a guest feel welcome."

"I've had a lot of practice," Mathieu replied, turning to smile at her as they ascended to the second floor. "Plus it's only the polite thing to do."

"Polite or not, you've been an excellent host so far." She told him, the two coming to a stop at the top of the stairs.

"The two farthest rooms on the right are available for you to choose from; mine is the one on the far left, just in case you need me for anything." He pointed each out in turn, giving her a pointed look at the last comment that she picked up on easily.

"I'm certain I'll be fine with any of the rooms I stay in," Irunya replied, not letting her gaze falter from his.

"Would you like me to show you them? So that we can have the servants bring your bags in for you, of course." The Canadian added almost convincingly.

"I would like that," The Ukrainian told him, smiling widely. "Why don't we start with yours, just to make sure I know all my options."

"As you wish," Mathieu replied, smiling as he pushed open the door and led her in backwards, the door closing firmly behind them.

~0~0~0~

" _What happens once I know she's interested?"_

" _Ah, then comes my favorite part - the seduction! Your only task at that point is to woo her - make her feel beautiful and special, until she's all but putty in your hands. If all else goes well, by the time you reach your bed, both of you will be more than ready to make love. Remember, don't let yourself get caught up in your own pleasure and forget hers in the process - that is a fast way to lose her interest in you."_

" _I know, papa, you taught me about sex already."_

" _Not everything! You'll find yourself learning far more than I can teach you on your own - experiment, explore, and make sure that you both part ways happy and satisfied."_

~0~0~0~

Mathieu awoke the following morning to a knock on the door, yawning and stretching as he told the servant to enter. He was still pleasantly sore in several places, and didn't feel the urge to get up before he had to. To her credit, she didn't even blink at the second person in his bed, instead bowing and informing him that breakfast was ready and that he had a letter waiting for him.

The second drew his attention fast. "From where?"

"I was told it was express from California, sir."

Mathieu grinned, pushing himself up and sliding out from under the sheets. "I'll be down in a few minutes."

She bowed again and left, shutting the door as he made his way to his closet, picking out his outfit for the day before getting dressed and heading out of the room, allowing his guest to sleep in a bit longer. Irunya had had a long journey here, after all - it was only fair to let her get all the sound rest she could.

The tray holding his breakfast was already set down on the side table next to his favorite chair, the letter perched neatly beside it. He picked the letter up first along with the letter opener beside it, carefully prying it open before retrieving the sheaf of papers inside. Only once he had them open did he sit down, setting the sheaf down in his lap before turning to his breakfast tea.

Looking over the first page while sipping at his beverage, he smiled as he started reading the messy scrawl his brother had taken to.

" _Hey Mattie! It's been a while since you last letter, but I guess winter sorta slowed things down up there, huh?_

_I have to tell you, having winters that aren't freezing feels amazing - you should come by sometime when you aren't busy with your shiny new Confederation duties. Artie has to let you have fun occasionally!_

_Bella's been a peach, keeping everything around here in order, including the younger States. I seriously still can't believe I got so lucky with a State like her - guess Spain and Mexico didn't know what they were missing!"_

Mathieu frowned briefly as his brother went on about his 'Golden State' - an apt nickname considering the huge gold fever she'd sparked - before deciding that of course he was going to fawn over her when she'd done so much for him in the brief few decades she'd been his. It wasn't a big deal anyways - Alfred would be back on the East Coast soon enough, and then their letters would be more frequent again thanks to the shorter distance.

He smiled at the thought, going back to reading while idly working his way through his breakfast.

~0~0~0~

" _Mathieu, there's one last thing I want you to remember about seduction."_

" _What is it?"_

" _Do not ever let yourself get attached. Attachment only leads to pain once she leaves you, so be wary. It's better to keep things casual, for both of your sakes."_

" _But I-"_

" _Promise me you'll be careful."_

" _...I promise."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahahahaha, yeah, this is just a little bit late, I think. But hey, here's the long awaited update, and I hope it exceeds all your expectations! (I have to admit I'm not the best at writing flirting, so this fic might or might not be a challenge in the future, whoops.)
> 
> Also when I showed my friends my 'steps to seduction' they all said the last part made them sad, which was basically my goal in an offhanded sort of way. But yeah this is sort of establishing his French heritage and teachings while also just ever so subtly introducing how Arthur is starting to shape him.
> 
> As a bonus note, expect a long story ahead – I plan on making this a work of triumph by the end of it all. Hopefully Mattie will serve as an excellent guide through the upcoming decades!


	3. Call For Assistance

One of the most convenient things about the new Model T was, at least in Mathieu's opinion, its absolute convenience compared to most other modes of transport. Zeppelins were faster and didn't require constant refueling, true, but they were also prone to unfortunate accidents and only took you to specific ports, while the Model T could go along any sort of open path one wished and very rarely got into trouble even at its top speed of forty miles to the hour.

Airplanes, though quickly proving themselves as reliable as the automobile with all the convenient travelling speed and directness of the zeppelin, were still rather new and expensive, and required one to be capable of actually flying the thing, which the Canadian could readily admit he could not as of yet.

(Don't even get him started on horses. Elegant though they might be, he had never been as good with them as Alfred was, and so leaving them to others was hardly a loss.)

That was why, even with the distance between Ottawa and Washington D.C. and the heat of the August day, Mathieu chose to take his new Model T down to the States rather than take the zeppelin or coerce himself a ride down in one of the newer two-seat planes.

The trip itself, aside from the heat, was surprisingly pleasant - with how easy it was to keep the car moving straight along the road, Mathieu could afford to watch the landscape around his pass by, his vehicle drawing notice in each town he passed through and even from the farmers whose homes he happened to rumble past. More than once, during his stops to refuel for the next part of his trip, a small crowd would gather around to admire the vehicle and chat with him about what it was like to own and drive it.

(Bless their American souls, they hardly even minded his clearly Quebecois accent; it was odd, but nice to be on relatively good terms with the southern Nation and his people.)

Even though Mathieu had started in the early morning, the sun was well towards the western horizon before he made it to Alfred's house, the long driveway ending at the small mansion that had barely changed since he'd first set eyes on it well over a century ago. Once his car rolled to a stop before the front porch, he sat back in his seat and thought again about how he was going to convince his brother to help in this new war in Europe.

(He knew that there was a low chance of Alfred actually agreeing to anything, considering his stance on Europe, but Mathieu at least had to  _try_.)

Taking a breath, he stepped out of the car and strode over to the door, finger hovering over the doorbell for a moment before he depressed it, the chiming of bells from inside lasting several seconds before silencing. Stretching a bit to relieve some of the tension of sitting in a bumpy vehicle for most of the day, he stepped back as he heard footsteps approach the door, friendly greeting on his lips as it opened only for him to realize a second later it wasn't Alfred greeting him at the door.

"Oh, hello Mathieu," Ginevra Jameson nodded once she recognized him. "What brings you down here?"

"Hello to you as well, Ginevra; I was hoping to have a chance to speak with Al about a few things in person. Is he around?"

Her lips pressed together; the Virginian woman could never be called a fool, and considering she'd all but raised Alfred where Arthur couldn't (due to his living across the ocean and whatnot), she had a lovely habit of finding out about current events even before her Nation did. "This is about the war in Europe, isn't it?"

"Perhaps," Mathieu shrugged. "I'd still prefer discussing it with him."

"We aren't joining, so you can just leave now." She replied tersely, moving to close the door.

"Oh? I didn't realize you still had a right to speak for the entire Union after the stunt you pulled," He replied idly, stopping her in her tracks.

She glared at him, which did little to affect his unimpressed expression. Eventually she relented, nodding her head towards the side of the house. "Alfred and the others are out in the field testing out their new airplane. Let them know dinner will be ready soon."

"Thank you," Mathieu replied, nodding. "I'll let them know."

With a final sharp look Ginny shut the door a bit more firmly than necessary; shaking his head, he turned and made his way back down to the driveway before heading out along the short path through the trees, raising a hand to block the sun as he searched for his brother.

Not a moment too soon, it seemed; as he watched, a plane crested over one of the small hills, another of Alfred's States in the driver's seat while Alfred and- New York, wasn't it? Benjamin, that was the name! - ran alongside, easily keeping place as it settled back to the ground and rolled to a stop.

"Great job, Caroline!" Alfred gushed as Mathieu approached, grinning up at his State. "That's twice as far as Ben got without wobbling!"

"That's because I'm a natural pilot," Caroline laughed, pulling off her goggles.

"She's just better 'cause she's had more practice!" Benjamin protested, arms crossed. "Give me a few years and I can show her a thing or two about flying."

"In your dreams, Benny," She teased, gaze flickering up to the Canadian. "Oh look, we have a visitor."

"Matt?" Alfred asked as he turned to look, surprise morphing into a friendly grin. "Haven't seen you in a while! What brings you by?"

"Just some things I'd rather speak about face to face," He replied, frowning slightly as he realized he'd have three defensive States to worry about while attempting to coerce his brother's assistance in the war. "By the way, Ginevra says dinner is nearly ready."

"Is it? Time to pack up for the day then." Alfred turned to his States. "Hey, can you two put the plane back in the hangar? I'm gonna catch up with Mattie a bit before we all head back to the house."

"Just be careful," Benjamin warned, frowning as he looked over the Canadian. "You know he can't be here for anything good."

"I know the war's got you upset cause it closed the stock market, but it'll be fine. It's just a friendly chat, right Matt?" The American gave him a pointed look.

"Of course," Mathieu agreed readily.

"If you're sure," Caroline replied slowly, putting her goggles back on before she and Benjamin turned the plane around, heading back down the plain.

"Damn, that plane's the best thousand I've ever spent," Alfred hummed merrily before turning back to his brother. "Came all the way down in person just to see me, huh?"

"It has been a while," Mathieu pointed out, smiling slightly.

"It has! Did you grab a flight down?" The American asked.

"Actually, I drove. It's quite the experience, actually."

Alfred whistled appreciatively. "All the way from Ottawa? That's, what, four hundred miles? When did you start, this morning?"

"Yes, yes, and at just after dawn, actually." The Canadian grinned. "Your place is obnoxiously hot in the summer, I'll have you know."

"And your place is stupid cold in the winter," The southern Nation shot back. "How have things been for you up there, by the way?"

Mathieu sighed, grimacing. "Not good; two years of drought plus an economic depression leaves quite a few of my people unhappy. Not to mention, well,"

"The war." Alfred sympathised, patting his shoulder. "That's rough, but hopefully it'll all improve soon."

"At least the war should be over by Christmas, so that's something at least."

"See? Think positive!" The American grinned, glancing over to see his States returning. "You guys ready for food?"

"Definitely!" Benjamin agreed, eying Mathieu briefly before continuing on past, Caroline at his side. "Hopefully she's made enough for five of us."

"She always cooks enough," Caroline shrugged. "Considering who she has to feed all the time."

"Hey, that was one time, and I was in the middle of a growth spurt!" Alfred protested with a laugh, following after with Mathieu right behind him. "You can't blame me for being hungry!"

"You ate enough for ten of us in one go!" Ben shook his head. "Ginny had to make more just to feed everyone else!"

The Canadian didn't interrupt as the other three chatted enthusiastically on their way back to the mansion. Seeing his brother looking so hale and hearty while he was beginning to suffer the effects of a lack of food and money sent a pang of anger through him. Why was Alfred able to weather these changes so well when Mathieu, the far more loyal one, had to suffer?

Biting his tongue and shoving those thoughts back as they entered, he took the seat he was pointed to while watching the southern State patter around the kitchen, finishing up the last parts of dinner before bringing it all over. She settled neatly into the last seat only after the table before them was almost completely covered in plates of food.

(Lord, did it all smell so good!)

Mathieu had only a moment's hesitance in indulging himself in the meal; even with his appetite, he hardly made the same dent in the meal that Alfred did, and their eating prevented any meaningful conversation anyways. The sun was below the horizon before they finished, the five content for a while to relax before bringing up the conversation all of them knew was coming.

"I'm going to start the dishes," Ginevra stated eventually, collecting plates with the help of Benjamin and carting them back to the kitchen, followed soon after by the sound of rushing water. Benjamin returned and settled into his vacated seat, expression serious as he finally brought up the the topic of the evening.

"So, you're here to talk about the war."

"I am," Mathieu didn't bother denying it. "Arthur has declared war, and that obligates me to join him. I was wondering-"

"No." Benjamin and Caroline denied in unison, voices flat.

Alfred shrugged sheepishly. "Sorry, Matt, but my people don't want to get involved in Europe's wars. It'll all settle down soon, anyways, so it's not a huge deal, is it?"

"Even so, the assistance would still be beneficial in driving Germany back." The Canadian protested. "You have a much stronger workforce and economy right now - your help would likely guarantee an easy victory."

"Look, I can send supplies in exchange for cash, but that's it." Alfred leaned back in his seat and shrugged. "I'm not going to join a fight that doesn't involve me."

Mathieu frowned, frustration building again, though he forced it out of his voice as much as he could manage. "But this does involve you - how many of your people are over in Europe now, caught in the middle of this mess?"

"A few thousand," Alfred admitted. "But as long as they're allowed to pull out without issue until the fighting's done, and as long as both sides leave my ships alone, there's no reason to declare war over that."

"Of course you wouldn't want to help Arthur," Mathieu muttered under his breath. "Since you still can't get over a stupid war with him."

"My decision has nothing to do with Arthur," Alfred snapped with a scowl, slamming a hand on the table and startling the Canadian. "And I'd appreciate it if you didn't mutter like a sullen child denied sweets when you're talking business with me."

Mathieu flushed in embarrassment, wondering what had sparked this new Alfred. The southern Nation had never confronted him directly on his mutterings before, so being slapped down so suddenly was startling. Was this what more than a century of independence did for someone, or had something else matured his brother from the ever-cheery child he'd once been?

(It didn't help that the States looked far too amused at the whole thing.)

"I can't convince you to join the war, then?"

"Sorry, my answer remains no," Alfred replied. "I am, however, willing to discuss the matter of supplies before we retire for the night."

Mathieu sighed, but nodded. He'd expected as much before he came down to Virginia, but he still felt a twinge of betrayal at his brother's blatant refusal.

(At the least, he had something beneficial come out of this visit. Perhaps once the war was over he could come back for a more friendly visit and spend some time catching up.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, writing Alfred smack down Mattie's passhole tendencies is a lot of fun; I should do it way more often yo, ahahahahah. But yeah, we'll be getting to more romantic type things next chapter probably, so start cheering for that! :D
> 
> Honestly, the story tone in this fic is way different than all my other ones, which makes this sometimes harder to write than it should be because I keep having to push it back where it should be. Hopefully it's still turning out well for everyone!
> 
> (Caroline is North Carolina. I couldn't think of anything more creative, so that's what I'm working with. Shrugs.)


	4. Smooth Moves

Maybe Alfred had had the right idea after all, back when he'd declared that he wasn't getting involved in Europe's affairs. Certainly Mathieu would not be aching at a mixture of post-illness exhaustion, food slumps, and unemployment right now if he'd been able to use the resources and manpower to fix his own issues instead of theirs.

(On the upside, his overdue chat with Arthur on being responsible enough to look after his own affairs and interests had gone  _swimmingly._

It probably helped that he brought up the body count from the Great War that was all because the older Nation had demanded men on the battlefront.)

As such, even with his shiny new seat in the League of Nations (which Alfred hadn't even joined even though he proposed it, the jerk), he found himself far more involved in issues at home than with matters overseas. The most important of those things, both as a Nation and as Mathieu, was building up better relations with his brother to the south, who was if possible doing even better after the war than before.

And if building good relations involved him exchanging more letters and telephone calls, then obviously him going down past the border to visit in person would do nothing but good things, right?

(And no, of course it had nothing to do with taking a vacation - Alfred had extended the offer numerous times now, so it was only proper to accept so as not to possibly offend their prosperous neighbor!

His interest in seeing Alfred again on better terms than before the war had absolutely  _nothing_  to do with it.)

The trip down was mostly unremarkable, but for the lovely women he'd been lucky enough to be seated next to. She was a pretty thing, brunet and blue eyed, wide at the hips and charmed with a bubbly laugh hidden behind sun-tanned hands. She had a hint of the south in her voice as she went on about the places she'd been to in Canada and in Europe, her hands waving as she described sights he'd last seen during the Great War.

Instead of telling her about his own memories there, he smiled, adjusted his new glasses (chemicals burned harshly, even to someone who could recover from having their chest blasted open), and asked about her hometown.

She took to the subject with only slightly less enthusiasm, describing the summer breeze and the flowers on the hills she'd roll down with her younger brother as a child, as well as the sweets her babcia made on the weekends. How in winter the same hills would be perfect for sliding down on makeshift sleds, and the fireplace would always be warm and crackling when she came home.

He was content to listen while she spoke, occasionally fluttering his hand across hers or letting his gaze wander downwards, earning brief pauses or flushed cheeks each time she noticed. She didn't pull her hand away or harden her gaze, so he felt fairly secure that she was at least somewhat flattered by the attention.

Mathieu, in turn, told her bits and pieces of his own travels and experiences, fondly describing the time he'd shoved his brother in a creek in revenge for taking the last of the cake Ginvera had made. She laughed at his description of Alfred's face, wide in betrayal, right before he'd jumped out and dragged Mathieu in screaming after him, and more at the fit they'd put into Arthur when they'd trudged in afterwords dripping mud and water and grinning like a pair of loons.

Sadly, than was when their plane finally landed, the trip from Toronto to New Jersey far shorter than either of them had expected. As they gave their farewells, he placed a kiss to the back of her hand, promising that if they met again he would be more than happy to chat some more. Through her flush she agreed, walking away with a bounce in her step that matched the improvement to his own mood.

Some of the mood was dampened by the search for his brother after that - most of those who knew enough about Alfred either didn't know his location or weren't telling - but he finally received a break when he was directed to one of the speakeasies a few blocks down, the man waving it off as Mathieu thanked him.

(It was amazing what one could get away with in New Jersey. Then again, he knew Susannah, so it really wasn't that surprising.)

The first thing he noticed on entering the place was the atmosphere - both the one blurred by cigarette smoke and dim lights and the one filled with laughter, the clink of glasses, and jazz music that made it hard to focus on why he was there in the first place. The women lazing back in their seats, legs and arms and necks all bared to the world proudly, didn't help the matters much, but he was able to tear his gaze away to look around the rest of the room.

Eventually he spotted Alfred, sitting with Susannah towards the back of the place, both laughing over whatever conversation they were having. Heaving a relieved sigh (and trying to avoid hacking at the smoke - his eyes weren't the only thing that'd gotten damaged, sadly), he made his way around the dance floor to their table, alerting both of them to his presence with a pointed cough.

"Mattie!" Alfred greeted cheerfully, cheeks slightly flushed with alcohol and humor. "Finally visiting?"

"That's what I told you last week when I called," Mathieu huffed, settling into the offered seat while ignoring the mild annoyance on Susannah's face. "It's why I'm here in New Jersey and not in Virginia."

"Right," The American nodded, blushing just a bit more. "Forgot about that."

The Canadian shook his head, smiling, before reaching over to prod at his brother's cheek gently. "Are you that drunk already?"

"No way," Alfred waved his brother and the hand away, grinning as he finished his glass. "Just buzzed at most. Ta loosen up, ya know?"

"Hmmm," Mathieu replied, not entirely convinced but content to let it lie for now. "Things have been going well for you lately, huh?"

Alfred nodded, face flashing into a grimase before his grin returned. "Yeah, definitely! Other than the Prohibition thingy which nobody likes, but I mean that's more my bosses being a pain than anything, and that's no different than usual. But! But, I've been going around, visiting my states and chatting with them. Since I haven't had a chance to do that in a while."

Susannah sighed, closing her eyes as she shook her head. "His boss has been having him go around and try to enforce the damn Prohibition amendment. I figured he could use a break from that mess, and I was right."

Mathieu got the feeling there was more to the issue than that, based on the way she threw irritated looks at her Nations every so often. But to be honest, he didn't want to get involved in the mess of internal relations his neighbor has to deal with - Ontario and Quebec were exhausting on their own, and that didn't even begin to include all the others under his domain.

(Briefly, he wondered whether it was better to have more or fewer Provinces - or States - to deal with. He didn't think he could handle anymore than he already had, but he figured Alfred would be crushed if he had to give up any of his, no matter how they frustrate him or each other at times.

Maybe it wasn't a matter of numbers, then, just how well they managed.)

(Did that make him or Alfred the more capable, then?)

Just then a waiter came by, Alfred and Susannah both ordering refills while Mathieu asked for his first drink. It was only a few minutes later that all of them had full glasses in hand, tapping the rims together gently before downing half of it in a single go.

"How've you been, by the way?" Alfred asked, humming along to the music. "Haven't heard much from up north."

"They've been alright, mostly," Mathieu replied carefully. "I've gotten more control over my own affairs from Arthur, which has been a mixed blessing."

"Congrats, bro!" The southern Nation cheered, raising his glass. "Only a hundred fifty years after me!"

"Yes, yes, I know," The Canadian rolled his eyes, sipping at his drink to hide his small smile. "I'm not quite independant, so don't celebrate just yet. Arthur is nothing if not stubborn about his possessions."

"You're telling me," Alfred muttered, finishing off his drink. "But still, that's really cool. Does that mean we'll be able to hang out more often without him getting all prissy about it?"

"That's the plan, as far as I'm aware," Mathieu admitted around the last of his drink, ducking his head at the raised eyebrows that got from both of them. "It's far better for me and my people to build good relations with you than to continue worrying about Europe."

Alfred's lips curled up into a wide smile as he straightened, grabbing one of Mathieu's hands while leaning close. "I knew you'd come around eventually! It'll be just like old times, only better because we have so much more to explore now - oh man, I have so many cool places I wanna show you, and my people have been coming up with so many cool new things, and we can even go to your place and see all the cool stuff you have going up there-"

"Slow down there a bit, Al," The Canadian laughed, pushing his brother's face back. "You know we both have duties to our people that have to come first, even when it comes to improving relations."

On seeing his brother's patented wide eyed and slightly teary pout (and really, he was far more drunk that he wanted to admit if  _that_  was getting to him), he added quickly, "But, if we both have the time, I don't see why we can't do all those things."

"You are literally the best, Mattie," Alfred laughed, lunging forward to pull Mathieu into a hug, laughing at the squawk of protest that melted into an amused sigh, the Canadian ruffling his brother's hair.

"Alfred," Susannah cut in, lips pressed together thinly until her Nation turned to her, the frown turning into a tight smile. "You still owe me a dance, you know."

"Right! Right," Alfred laughed awkwardly as he pulled away, rubbing at the back of his head as he shot Mathieu an apologetic smile. "Sorry, Matt, but I did sorta promise…"

"It's fine," Mathieu replied, waving his brother off and frowning at the look she shot back his way as they got up, the duo heading for the dance floor just as the next song started to come on. He settled back into his seat, finishing his drink as the two began to dance, the music quickly picking up and getting them moving.

He'd never seen his brother dance before, so it came as a surprise that the other was actually good at it, leading his partner with a fluid grace he wouldn't have expected from a gangly teenager.

...Then again, he conceded, they'd both grown up since then - Alfred had grown into himself, lean, suntanned muscle fitting well into his suit as he dipped and spun and swung his partner around the dance floor, both of them relaxing and grinning as they got into the rhythm of the song.

Mathieu sighed, leaning against the table while he continued to watch, frowning when one dip had the two almost face to face, both of them sheened lightly from the exertion of the high-pace dance. As they came to a halt at the end of the song, a brief breather before the next, Alfred took the chance to look up at him, lips parted slightly as he sucked in air, lips and eyes crinkled with an easy joy.

He smiled back, glad to see his brother looking so well, even if it shot a pang of jealousy through him. Honestly, like this he almost looked like-

(-Irunya smiling up at him, lips swollen and cheeks flushed and shining from their latest bout of sex-)

His breath hitched, wondering where  _that_  comparison had come from. Shaking his head to clear it, he glanced back just as Susannah placed a kiss to Alfred's cheek, Alfred turning to her with a laugh on his lips-

( _-Who did she think she was-_ )

Mathieu shoved his glass away, forcing his gaze to the rest of the room desperately. A second sweep had a bob cut blonde at the far end of the bar, nursing a drink on her own while leaning on an arm on the counter. Her dark gaze settled onto him as he made his way over, looking him over lazily as he ordered another drink, his back leaning against the wood while he waited.

"What brings you by, handsome?" She asked around her cigarette, breathing out a stream of smoke.

"You looked like you could use some company," He replied, accepting his drink without glancing back.

"I suppose I don't mind some of that," She conceded after a bit, rolling her glass between her fingers before taking a swig. "You don't sound like you're from around here."

"I'm from Quebec. Canada." He added at her raised eyebrow.

"Canada, huh?" She rolled the name off her tongue, tilting her head like she was testing wine. "What brings you all the way down here?"

"Visiting a friend." Mathieu replied, keeping his gaze firmly away from the dance floor.

(Were they still dancing, he wondered, or had they returned to the table to find him missing? Would Alfred worry or just assume he had left already-

-He didn't care,  _he didn't care_ , Alfred was just-)

"Your friend busy, then?" She asked, looking where he wouldn't as if pondering which one he was there with.

"Something like that," He replied with only the slightest tinge of annoyance leaking through; if there was one thing being in the Empire did good for, it was knowing how to keep your feelings to yourself. "And yourself?"

"My night's wide open," She hummed, gaze returning to him.

"Perfect," He replied, relaxing a bit as he allowed himself to get into character. "That gives me more time to charm you, then."

She laughed, the throaty sound roughened by smoke. "You can certainly try, at least."

"Oh, I think I'll do better than that," He challenged with a grin, feeling a bit of vindictive pride when she flushed ever so slightly in response. "Let's start with names."

"Amelia," The woman replied, sitting back to show off just a hint as she got a new drink.

"Mathieu," He returned, finishing his glass and getting another as well.

It only took a few minutes for them to finish their drinks and leave the premises, a hotel thankfully close enough that they were able to get a room without any questions asked. Though it was skipping a few steps, she didn't seem to mind getting right into things, her breath hot and smoky on his lips as they fell back onto the small bed.

(If he was a bit rougher than usual, it had just been a while, and she seemed to enjoy it anyways.

He forced himself to keep his eyes open so as not to accidentally mistake hers for blue.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last bit took a bit longer than I expected to really flesh out, since I didn't wanna just end the scene so abruptly, but yeah, we're finally to Mattie's gut punch realization that his feelings for his brother(-at-arms) are really, really not platonic anymore. Whoops.
> 
> I pretty much have the rest of this fic plotted out, so it should only be about right more chapters from here to completion if everything goes well! Since I update this every other week, that should be only a few months from now, actually, so yay, I'll be able to work on other fics after this!
> 
> As always, reviews are much appreciated, since I want to know how all this is working out for everyone so far! The writing style is new to me so I want to be sure I'm not sucking horribly at that or at Mattie's flirting and stuff.


	5. Dark Days Ahead

_Jesus, do not leave me alone in suffering._

Mathieu knelt at the side of his bed, forehead pressed to his cross as he recited his prayer through chapped lips. It was one of the only comforts he had left these days, even if every breath felt like he was choking on dust.

(Not that he didn't feel he deserved it, considering what he was.)

He probably was, actually, considering the state of the prairies. Lord, all those farmers forced to leave their fields because they couldn't sell their crops… the food just rotting where it grew while elsewhere his people starved...

(He brought it on himself, Alfred did this to him-

-no, don't think about that!)

_You know, Lord, how weak I am._

And how could he be otherwise? He'd spent years trying to get rid of the thoughts and fears and desires that had plagued his waking and sleeping moments since he'd last gone past his southern borders, all to no avail. If he were human he would surely be destined for hell for his transgression.

Maybe he was already in it, considering the state of the world now.

(Alfred, panting and flushed and pinned under him, eyes dilated from the rush of pleasure they'd both experienced-)

_I am an abyss of wretchedness, I am nothingness itself; So what will be so strange if You leave me alone and I fall?_

And didn't he deserve it? He'd had the sheer gall to spit in the Lord's face by daring to feel  _things_  for another man one should not feel; he'd dreamed dreams that were damning enough in and of themselves without the fact that a deep, shameful part of him  _enjoyed_  them. And now, because the Lord could not strike him down due to his nature, He was making do with an indirect sort of suffering.

He should have seen the signs sooner, back when his people had first started suffering decades ago, before the Great War.

(It had always been Alfred, Alfred,  _Alfred_ -

-No, it had always been his own weakness, he couldn't just blame the other for existing-)

_I am an infant, Lord, so I cannot get along by myself._

He had only just tasted the freedom that came with taking control of his own governance, but he wasn't sure if it was worth his people's struggle now. He so desperately wanted to run to Arthur, or even Francis, and beg them to fix things, even as he knew they were struggling themselves and had no time to spare on his own deserved suffering.

How had Alfred ever handled being so young and in control of his own life? Mathieu still couldn't find a way to keep things from going wrong the second he looked away.

(He didn't even know the full extent of his feelings towards the other anymore-

-Jealousy, lust, anger, affection, exasperation, trust, lo-)

_However, beyond all abandonment I trust, and in spite of my own feeling I trust, and I am being completely transformed into trust, often in spite of what I feel._

Even if the Lord never forgave him for his sin of lust, he had to pray, if not for his own sake, than for his people, who did not deserve to suffer for his crimes. If he could give up his immortality to spare them he would do so in an instant, accepting his own sins as a mortal so that they would recover.

He paused briefly, swallowing dryly and taking a deep breath, feeling his people ache from the lack of food, of money, of jobs and faith and trust and hope. He could not even be consoled in his neighbor's equal suffering, because the other had already found ways to get himself back on his feet.

(Was there nothing that could keep Alfred down for long? Mathieu felt a wave of resentment wash through him, thankfully blocking out the other thoughts that threatened to surface at the reminder before shame at thinking such dark things during prayer had him shove them all away to refocus himself.

This was not for him, but for every other Canadian that lived and breathed and deserved so much more than he could provide to them now.)

_Holy Mary, help those in need, give strength to the weak, comfort the sorrowful, pray for God's people, assist the clergy, intercede for religious._

His own government had failed them, unable to copy the successes of the Americans to the south. The people were becoming more disillusioned, looking to others to help them get back on their feet after the horrible collapse of the entire economy.

It was only the fact that the new government was starting to take greater steps that kept things from being even worse than they could be, though he still felt the pain of those men working in labor camps, or the families forced to the streets due to lack of money, of the youth forced to steal because they had nothing to lose.

That was why, even as his own strength and will faltered, he prayed for them - because in the end, he was expendable, while they were not.

(Humans could live without Nations. Nations could not live without humans.)

(-Alfred could live without Mathieu. Mathieu could not live without Alfred-)

_May all who seek your help experience your unfailing protection._

About the only things they could keep open even in these times were the churches, whose followers and newcomers alike all sat together to pray for deliverance, just as he did. The people needed that source of comfort and companionship right now, regardless if it matched his own faith or not.

Even those who did not offer prayers deserved protection in these times; he would not begrudge a single person the Lord's blessing at this point.

(At least, no one besides himself.)

(Maybe it would keep Alfred safe too.)

_Lord, do not lessen any of my sufferings, only give me strength to bear them._

In the end, he was a Nation, born to provide for his people and be their ship, even in the roughest of times. Most of them would never know his name or face, but in the end he would support them from their birth to their death, for as long as his country existed.

What else could he do? What else could any of them do?

(Alfred could-

-What did he care about Alfred?)

_Do with me as You please, Lord, only give me the grace to be able to love You, in every event and circumstances._

He did not look forward to the meetings and deals he would have to go through with over the following years, but he had to deal with them if he wanted any chance of his economy recovering before the decade was out.

Dealing with the Americans for them, though… that would be a true test of his willpower.

But he could not blame anyone but himself in the end for his sins; the Lord did not make mistakes, and Alfred, as much as Mathieu was tempted to blame, did not do anything untoward to cause the issues that the Canadian now suffered through.

(He wasn't bitter! He was just-)

_Lord, do not lessen my cup of bitterness, only give me strength that I may be able to drink it all. Amen._

Mathieu exhaled, shutting his eyes for a moment of silence after finishing his prayer. The words hadn't changed much over the last couple of years, nor had the desperate pleading behind them. In the end, it was all he could ask for, for both himself and his people.

(It just had to be enough. There was no other option.)

It was time to go to work, and make another attempt to fix things before they got worse.

(Even himself. Especially himself.)

~0~0~

About one of the only things that hadn't been affected by the Great Depression was, annoyingly enough, the paperwork. The nature of it had changed, of course - the current bulk was mostly consisting of the acts the new government officials wanted in implement soon in order to follow the success of the American's New Deal - but the volume had barely wavered from what it was a decade ago.

(Mathieu didn't want to believe it'd actually increased, but sometimes he had his suspicions.)

Sometimes, when he needed a break, he would get up from his desk and walk over to the window, content to watch his people walk by on their way to whatever destinations they had in mind. Lately that habit had only let to him feeling more guilt at his own nature allowing him to keep his job even as a quarter of his people were forced to lose theirs due to lack of money.

' _It will get better soon,'_  He always had to tell himself, looking at the homeless across the street being ignored by the passerby. ' _I just need to get these treaties enacted, and everyone will be able to get the money they need to feed themselves and their families again.'_

That guilt-tinged promise was enough to get him back to his desk, where he started looking over another sheaf of papers asking for tax relief to some farmer's union out west. Frowning as he went over his mental recollection of the group in question, he eventually sighed and denied it, knowing that over the long term it would be better if the money was spent smartly via the upcoming Acts.

His attention was drawn up by a knock on the door. "Come in."

Robert "Ontario" Anderson nodded as he stepped inside, several more documents under his arm. "You came in today?"

"I'm not in that poor a health," Mathieu replied, grimacing at the sight of yet more work ahead of him. "And I can't forsake my people when they need me most."

"You'll be doing more good at the meeting later today then working on all this mess," The Province dumped the papers on his desk, looking about as thrilled as his Nation felt. "Though I appreciate  _someone_  helping me work through it."

"Joseph hasn't been helping you?" Mathieu asked idly as he looked through the first new folder before the first part of the comment registered. "Wait, meeting?"

Robert snorted in wry amusement. "That French bastard wouldn't help me if I were on fire; he's not interested in anything other than his own problems right now. And yes, the one I told you about last week, where America and his people were going to come up to discuss trade agreements."

Mathieu vaguely recalled the discussion in question, though that had been right before he'd collapsed due to another string of strikes going on, hence leaving most of the day a bit fuzzy in his memories. Bile rose in his throat, and his expression must not have been nearly as schooled as he'd hoped, because the Province had stepped forward to press a hand to his forehead in concern.

"You alright?" Robert asked, hand moving to tilt his head up, probably looking for the glassy glaze of an imminent fever. "There hasn't been another crisis, has there?"

"I-" He swallowed, voice catching in his throat. "I can't-"

Alfred was coming? Here?  _Today?_  He was here in his capital, possibly in this building, right now? And they expected him to  _talk_  to Alfred?

(Fragments of the previous night's dream trickled into his head only to be shoved back down with extreme force; that was the  _last_  thing he wanted to think about right now.)

"Look, I can handle this meeting, alright?" Robert continued when he didn't get a full response from his Nation. "They'll understand you aren't feeling up to it today; it'll probably be a month before we come to a final agreement anyways, so they won't mind you missing a few days."

Mathieu closed his eyes and nodded sharply, exhaling when his Province squeezed his shoulder in quiet sympathy before turning to leave again, shutting the door behind him. He lowered his head to his desk, doing his best to fight off the wave of muddied feelings overwhelming him now.

(How had Alfred's mere name done this to him? Why was he cursed with these stupid, sinful thoughts and feelings?

Why had he started looking at his brother differently at all?)

(He didn't remember falling asleep, but he must have, for why else would he hazily recall warm, calloused hands against his cheeks, or the low murmurs in the background?)

(-Alfred could live without Mathieu. Mathieu could not live without Alfred-)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Friendly reminder that until the 1970s and the ensuing LGBT Rights movements of that decade, being gay was universally a BAD THING to be openly; heck, evne today it's still an issue in a ton of places, though some are better than others. So Mathieu mentally breaking down over it? Completely in line for a Catholic-raised boy who spent centuries being Totally Straight only to realize he's got a nasty case of bisexuality.
> 
> (I've really been failing in the 'Mathieu flirts a lot' department, haven't I? I'll try to get some more in in the next chapters, because even as in love as he is, he can still appreciate other people too since he's not in a relationship yet, plus it makes a good distraction for the Very Bad Gay Feels he's having now. Poor guy... :c your happy ending will come eventually!)


	6. An Understanding

Mathieu exhaled, slumped against the supply truck and trying to catch what rest he could while his men laughed and discussed their lives at home, wistfully hoping for a quick end to the war so that they could go back to their loved ones and friends. Since they'd started pushing into the European mainland, morale had been raised, the enemy being pushed back further every month.

The Nation himself was tired, having almost burnt out waiting for a way to do more than provide air support to Arthur after the mainland had completely fallen under Axis control. The only thing he wanted when he got home was a long nap, some real food, and-

-" _Hey Mattie, wanna hang out?_ "-

-some time to himself, because dealing with the rest of the world was exhausting even at the best of times.

(He really, desperately hoped there wouldn't be a third world war. He wasn't sure he'd be able to handle the stress if things came to that.)

(At least one good thing came of the conflict, which was a lack of any thoughts related to his neighboring Nation; war did a good job of leaving you too tired to dream generally.)

"Sir?" One of the men asked, the conversation having lulled briefly while he'd drifted between thoughts. Mathieu cracked his eyes open, seeing the others had turned to glance at him.

"Yes?" He asked, wondering if he'd missed something while he'd been half asleep.

"Do you have someone waiting for you back home?" The same man as before asked.

"...my family, I suppose." Mathieu shrugged, knowing most of the provinces would be busy with their own things after the war came to a close and they moved back to a more peaceful economy.

"No pretty women?" Another asked, almost disappointed.

Mathieu was ready to shake his head when Alfred abruptly popped into his thoughts, giving him pause just long enough for them to latch onto it.

"So there is someone!" A third cheered, looking far too pleased at knowing their superior officer wasn't too different from them after all.

"I don't-" He started to deny, only to rethink it when he saw how badly they needed this confirmation of normality in the middle of the defining war of their lives. These men -  _his_  men - needed him to play a part, and really, where was the harm in that?

He took a breath, thinking carefully so as not to let slip anything that could mark him as abnormal, and started again. "It's complicated."

The men exchanged looks before leaning forward, all eager to hear what he had to say.

"She's American, for one," Mathieu explained, grinning wryly. "Which means I don't see her all too often; we send letters and occasionally call each other, but it's not quite the same."

"How'd you meet, then?" The first man asked.

"I lived in the States for a few years when I was younger; she was my neighbor then."

(It was easier to lie when you used half-truths and stayed vague - they could fill in the details themselves.)

"She's cheerful to a fault, always has been," He continued, lips twitching up into a smile. "And horrible about taking no for an answer. If you tell her she can't do something, she'll go and do it just to spite you, even if it causes more trouble in the long run."

Mathieu laughed softly, thinking of the time Alfred had spent an entire week learning how to whittle after being told he was too young to know how to wield the knife properly. He was only lucky he healed from those types of wounds, or else he would still be missing a few of his fingers from fumbling the knife more than once.

(He had gone on to, if not master it, at least be able to consistently produce decent pieces without injuring himself.

Mathieu still had a few of the early attempts somewhere in his storage closet.)

"Sounds like an interesting girl," Another one of the men piped up, grinning. "She have a name?"

"Alice," Mathieu offered after a second, figuring it would be easier to avoid slipping up that way. "Alice Jones."

"What makes any of that complicated?" The second man asked.

"Well," The Nation shrugged sheepishly. "I don't know how she feels about me, for one - I think she might see me as a brother, which would make things hard enough. Not to mention I'm not quite sure of my own feelings towards her…"

The men looked between each other, seeming to determine as one that their commanding officer was hopeless and needed the help. Mathieu was almost offended; he'd romanced plenty of women in the past, this was just - different. Because it was a guy. And Alfred at that.

(A small part of him which had long resigned itself to his issue told him he was just trying to ignore the fact that he already knew how to charm people just fine, a thought he firmly pushed away because what he wanted wasn't a one night stand, but…

...well, that part he wasn't certain of quite yet.)

"Do you want to kiss her?"

"Hold her close while you dance to whatever's playing on the radio?"

"Make her smile when she's down?"

Mathieu ducked his head, trying to fight back the flush as he thought about all of those things briefly and concluded they weren't terrible ideas. "I guess so…"

The men laughed, nudging each other. "You, sir, are in deep then."

The Nation shook his head and smiled, at least happy they were enjoying prodding at him even if he wasn't sure he could really call it-

Well. Something that special, anyways.

_("Do not ever let yourself get attached."_

" _You are literally the best, Mattie!")_

~0~0~

"Mathieu," Arthur addressed him a few days later, after they'd finished going over their next moves in the region. Alfred and Francis were handling the western front while they were taking the southern route, with Ivan pushing in slowly but surely from the east, leaving the two of them mostly on their own except for their encoded messages over the radio.

"Yes, Arthur?" The Canadian turned back to him, having started to excuse himself from the abandoned and promptly commandeered building to get some rest before the engineers finished clearing the next obstacle.

"There's been some rumors going about the camp since our last holdup," The elder Nation started, offering Mathieu his seat back.

Mathieu raised an eyebrow but accepted, hoping it wasn't anything too terrible. What could have possibly come up since then that-

Oh. Oh no.  _Tabernac_.

"Something about a certain Williams having lady troubles?" The Englishman's lips twitched up in amusement, and if it wouldn't have earned him a smack for impudence or at least a stern talking to, Mathieu would have started swearing, because raising his troop's morale was one thing, but this-

The younger Nation bit down on his thoughts, realizing that he had no one but himself to blame for indulging their curiosity. "Anything else?"

"Well," And here the Canadian felt the first trickles of fear, Arthur's amusement having died away into something a bit more serious. "Something about the lucky woman being American? An old neighbor, even."

Mathieu stiffened before forcing himself to relax, looking Arthur right in the eyes. "I just gave them something that sounded good; it was the first thing that came to mind."

"The first thing that came to mind?" Arthur questioned softly, still not giving away anything about how he felt about all this.

"Yessir," The Canadian replied, not allowing himself to back down just in case he could still get out of all of this intact.

"I see," The Brit replied after a moment, exhaling quietly as he closed his eyes, opening them after a minute to continue his examination of the other Nation. "And here I thought you'd taken after Francis more than myself."

Mathieu blinked, having not expected that response. "Arthur?"

"I've known him for a long time," Arthur continued, looking out the window to wherever his thoughts were taking him. "His habit of picking up women and tossing them away once he's finished is by no means new, and is rather infamous among the rest of us. I suppose that might in part be my fault, but I wasn't aware at the time that there was anything there…"

He exhaled, shaking his head before looking back to Mathieu. "Since you came under my care, you seemed to follow the same tread. I'd assumed, fairly enough, that he'd indoctrinated you to his own philosophy of spreading l'amour wherever possible and that that wasn't likely to change. So imagine my surprise when not only do I hear that you are having 'lady problems', but that you are actually infatuated with said lady."

"It was just an act-" Mathieu argued weakly.

"Alice Jones," Arthur spoke slowly. "Is not a name you make up for an act."

The Canadian could not hold back the hiss of surprise, because it was already obvious the other knew exactly what was happening and was about to kick his sorry sinful ass out of the army before he could even explain himself. "What does that have to do with anything?"

And here Arthur surprised him again, smiling wryly at some private joke. "Surprising as it might seem, you aren't the only one who's been faced with 'lady problems'."

Mathieu opened his mouth to protest two seconds before the words registered, leaving him gaping wordlessly as he stared at his pseudo-mentor.

"I suppose you could have done worse, all things considered," The Englishman continued blithely. "You have a far better chance with your lady than I've ever had with mine, and you haven't had the weary centuries of bitter regrets and fears to weigh down your hopes yet."

"...who?" Mathieu eventually choked out, not wanting to comment on the other part of that quite yet, still reeling at the other admitting to something so- so-

Arthur simply smiled, though it failed to reach his eyes. "I'd rather not say; I've already expended my heart-sopping sob story quota for the decade, and I'm afraid if I go any further I might become Spanish."

The sheer absurdity of the admission had Mathieu laughing, slowly at first and then towards hysterical, tears starting to overwhelm him as Arthur moved around the table to awkwardly comfort him. He'd been so scared of what would happen if anyone found out, and now that he knew he wasn't the only one to suffer like this, he felt both freer and more frightened of the future than ever before.

"Shh, shh," Arthur muttered, rubbing Mathieu's shoulders as he hiccupped into a wet silence. "I know I scared you, but you're safe now. I'm not going to tell anyone what happened here, and we can pretend this didn't happen."

"No, it's fine, I just…" The Canadian wiped away the last of his tears, smiling genuinely at his mentor for what was probably the first time in their shared history. "Thank you, Arthur, for not, well,"

"Booting you from the army for being you?" He grinned in understanding. "I'm afraid you'll have to do far worse than that to get out of here, Williams."

"Yessir," Mathieu replied with a small laugh. "I completely understand."

He never thought he'd see the day where he truly came to respect the older Nation, but it seemed life was full of surprises for him. Not to mention his words had sparked something new in the Canadian, leaving him to wonder just whether what he'd once thought absurd might just, in fact, be possible after all.

(Maybe one day he'd be able to help Arthur in turn; the man did not deserve to look defeated at the idea of his own chances, even if he was English.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahahaha, I honestly hadn't planned the part with Arthur until after I sat down with my friend's idea of Mattie talking to his men about his crush (without mentioning anything about his lady actually being a guy), but I am really, really happy with how it turned out. And no, I don't have a definite ship for Arthur yet, but I'm considering a rarer pair like EngChu, PrUK, or AsaKiku. (Sorry, FrUK fans, I mean I love the ship but I don't feel like it would quite fit with this fic.)
> 
> We are now officially halfway through the fic! And the rest of the chapters should be easy going from here, though I might need to adjust a later chapter or two in order to see what I and Mattie can do for poor, poor Artie.


	7. Worked Up

It really had been nice of Alfred to let Mathieu stay over at his apartment during the weeklong world meeting being hosted in the brand new UN building. The American had overheard him lamenting the fact that all the nearby hotels had already been booked out to Arthur, and had taken it upon himself to butt into the conversation and let him know that of  _course_  he could just stay at his place and what sort of jerk would he be to leave his own brother hanging like that?

Mathieu, to his credit, didn't even twitch at the word that jabbed through his heart, just smiling and accepting the gesture. Arthur grumbled about ungrateful children who didn't offer their elders a room as well, to which Alfred cheerfully replied that he only had the one spare room and that he'd rather not give it to the old man who'd spend the entire week nagging him ceaselessly.

The fight that followed was becoming routine, though Mathieu was starting to see that the two were using them as a way to blow off their lingering frustrations with each other without actually delving into dangerous waters. Though he knew the two were trying hard to reconnect after centuries of distancing themselves, the Canadian still felt a twinge of annoyance at the two shoving him rather distractedly out of the conversation.

(He didn't miss the guilty glance sent his way by his mentor later on - Mathieu understood that Alfred simply commanded attention, both as an emergent superpower and as himself, and that sometimes that attention would be away from lesser Nations.

He wasn't bitter, not at all. Really, he wasn't.)

Shoved to the side as he was, he didn't think much of it when he spied Yao out of the corner of his eye and decided to join him. The Communist Nation leaning against his walls with his eyes shut, though they cracked open to stare at him blearily until he recognized Mathieu.

"What brings you over here?" The older Nation asked, glancing down the hall to the still bickering duo. "I thought you were speaking with England."

"Alfred joined us," Mathieu explained simply, figuring that explained it all.

"Ah, that would do it, then," Yao nodded in understanding.

"I figured since they're busy, I could see how you were doing, since you looked a bit tired today."

"I'm on the other side of the planet from my country, and my body is telling me I should be asleep, not discussing trade and global politics."

Mathieu flushed slightly at the pointed look he got for that comment. "They didn't really give us much time to settle in, did they?"

"Mmm," Yao hummed noncommittally, taking a deep breath before going back to watching Mathieu.

The Canadian eventually gave in with pattering around the subject he'd been pondering on and off for a few years now. "How's Yong Soo? I haven't heard from him since I left, and, well…"

"He's fine," The Chinese Nation replied softly, smiling in understanding. "The war wasn't easy on him, but wars between your own people never are. He's getting used to dealing with two different regimes, but so far he seems to be handling it alright."

Mathieu exhaled in relief, smiling as well. "Thank God; hopefully he'll be able to come by the next world meeting, then."

"Last I heard, he was looking forward to seeing you again," Yao agreed, right before he tensed and turned to look down the hall, Mathieu a second behind as Alfred almost slammed his arm through the wall next to them.

"What are you doing talking to him?" The American superpower hissed, eyes wild as he did his best to burn a hole through Yao's face.

"Letting Mathieu know Yong Soo is alright," The older Nation snapped back, face guarded as he calmly recomposed himself. "Seeing as I'm the one in contact with him regularly, it makes sense for Mathieu to speak with me about the issue."

"He doesn't need to talk to communist scum to know that," Alfred rebutted, sending a sharp look to Mathieu before returning to his glare down of the other Nation. "Get lost."

"You should learn manners, child," Yao ignored the American's command. "Just because you've gained some influence in the world doesn't give you the right to determine how the rest of us live our lives. I've already thrown you and your European friends out of my country; don't make me have to do it a second time."

"I can't wait until your government crumbles underneath you; maybe when you come crawling to me I'll even show you mercy."

With that Alfred turned on his heels and left, grabbing Mathieu by the hand and almost yanking his arm out of its socket as he was dragged away from that conversation as well. Yao gave him an apologetic look before he disappeared from sight, giving the Canadian a burst of outrage as he turned on his neighbor.

"What the hell, Alfred? I was just checking in on Yong Soo!"

The American superpower spun him around so his back was against a wall, using his strength to pin him in place while he snarled. "You should have come to me then! I have plenty of reports on the state of the region-"

"-Which isn't the same as hearing about the personification from his own brother, and you know it!" The Canadian shot back, refusing to be scared into submission. "Not to mention I'm trying to play nice with the communist Nations so that they'll  _listen_  to me, since they don't seem to care all that much about you dramatically breaking ties with them."

"They're dangerous, Mathieu! You can't trust them to not try and sneak in spies behind your back, and who knows what sort of plans they have waiting for innocent people to lower their guard around them!"

"I'm already monitoring all my trade and transportation for communist sympathizers," Mathieu sighed. "What else do you seriously expect me to do?"

"I need you to work with me," Alfred proclaimed, placing his other hand on the northern Nation's shoulder with an almost pleading expression. "You're my closest ally, geographically and politically, so I need to be absolutely sure I know where your loyalties are."

"Alfred, I've been your largest supporter since this Cold War started - I've joined a good chunk of my military with yours, we trade all the intel we receive, and I fought in Korea alongside you. I've told you before, I don't think just trying to cut off trade and diplomatic contact with them will work, which is why I'm trying to talk to them and get them to see the good our side has."

The superpower stared him down silently, seeming to search for some form of deception in Mathieu's eyes. Upon finding none, he sighed and closed his eyes, sagging as they opened again to reveal most of the paranoia had left him for now. "Fuck, Mattie, I just - it seems like they're getting more powerful everyday, and what if I can't save everyone? What if I can't protect our people?"

"I know, Alfred," Mathieu replied, sagging briefly as the southern Nation released his wrists, allowing blood to start circling through his numb fingers again. "This war's been eating at all of us."

"I just want it all to stop," Alfred muttered, exhaling slowly. "My people don't need this sort of stress."

"Maybe you should consider getting rid of MacCarthy, then; he definitely hasn't been helping in that regard, and you know it."

"I know, damnit, but he's still one of my people; it's not like I can just lock him up - people'll demand justice, and that'll cause even more headaches."

Mathieu sighed, seeing his neighbor starting to swing to the other extreme of his current moods. "Do you want to head back to your apartment and rest? I doubt the others will begrudge half a day's meetings when we have the rest of the week ahead of us."

"I can't skip out on them, Mattie," Alfred protested. "My boss needs me to lead these in person, to show I can handle leading the free world."

"Well, most of the free world seems to be eager to catch naps to adjust to the time difference," The Canadian pointed out. "Your boss didn't give a lot of time for us to get here and settle in, and a lot of the Nations were tired this morning - didn't you notice?"

"...oh," He replied eventually. "That explains why everyone was quiet during my speech."

"You think?" Mathieu gently pushed his neighbor so that he could step away from the wall. "Let's go let them know we're calling it for the rest of today and then we can get out of here - maybe there'll be something good on the radio or tele."

"Yeah, maybe…" Alfred nodded, allowing himself to be escorted back to the main meeting hall, where everyone had started to regather for the afternoon discussions.

"Hey, everyone," The superpower called out, drawing their attention. "I'm calling off the afternoon talks for today - go back to your rooms and get some rest, or go sightseeing if you want. We'll deal with today's stuff over the rest of the week, but we can't get stuff done if you're all dead on your feet."

The room seemed to breath a sigh of relief, and Alfred turned to flash a thankful grin as Mathieu. Fighting down the flush at the gesture, he just smiled back and nudged his companion's shoulder, gesturing for him to lead the way out to his apartment.

Along the way they picked up ice cream from a place Alfred swore up and down was the best he'd ever had, something Mathieu could hardly debate when it did taste remarkably refreshing on a warm afternoon in the city. Between the sweet treat and the strictly nonpolitical banter they'd struck up along the way, most of the tension had left their shoulders, and the Canadian was struck again with how gorgeous his friend could be when the world wasn't weighing him down.

"Mattie, we're here," The American cut into his thoughts, drawing him back from the place his mind had wandered to with a befuddled glance around to confirm their location. "You aren't getting heat stroke, are you?"

"Just a bit tired," Mathieu promised, which wasn't technically a lie even though it had been far from the front of his mind during the walk. "Though I wouldn't mind a drink if you're getting yourself one."

"I'll see what I can scrounge up," Alfred promised, disappearing into the small kitchen while Mathieu settled onto the couch in the living room.

Ever since his talk with Arthur, he'd allowed himself the luxury of stepping back and actually looking at his jumbled mess of feelings involving his neighboring Nation. Yes, he'd been raised to treat thinking of other men the way he thought of Alfred as some sort of abominable sin, but he was almost certain now it wasn't really any different from what other men felt for their wives, all other factors aside, so what made it any more sinful than Francis' own habit of sleeping around with unwed women?

Of course, even with that realization, he had no way to act on it, because as far as he was aware, Alfred was still very much against the idea and would probably build a wall between their countries to keep him out if he so much as breathed the idea in his general direction. If that weren't enough, Mathieu wouldn't know how to breach the subject even if he weren't certain of the reaction it'd cause - it wasn't exactly something you discussed over drinks!

(He wasn't even going to think about how, for all his charm and suave with women, he had no idea how to actually build and maintain a working relationship - the mere concept had been treated as a taboo by Francis, and Arthur was only beginning to help him work through the worst of the knee jerk reactions to the idea.)

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, exhaling slowly as he sank into a couch a bit further. It really didn't matter in the end how he felt, because for all of Arthur's positive remarks, the lingering doubts about anything ever coming of them remained ever present in his mind.

Those would be for another day, though - for now, Alfred had returned with a cold drink for each of them, and he didn't want to ruin the day by letting his mood drag them both back down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This came out slightly differently than I expected, but overall it worked out so I'm sticking to it. Mattie's slowly coming around to realize his feelings aren't quite deserving of self-loathing as he'd initially felt. Of course, he's had the time to think about it and the careful support of Arthur to help that along, which probably helped a bit.
> 
> Next chapter is going to be probably the only one of them you can pin a very definite day on, but I don't want to spoil anything here... let's just say I'm gonna have so much fun writing it.


	8. One Small Step

"Thanks for coming over to watch this with me, Matt," Alfred held up his bottle of beer, grinning cheerfully and just a bit flushed from the alcohol.

"No problem," Mathieu smiled back, nursing his own bottle (even if it wasn't as good as the stuff his people made, it was still beer, and he didn't feel like wasting it right now). "You think this is going to go well?"

"Of course it is," The American preened. "My people have been working towards this for more than a decade now, and we've got redundancies on redundancies. Today is going to go down as the day the first two humans ever stepped onto the Moon, and it's going to be my people doing it."

"Has it really been that long already?" Mathieu wondered. "Everything's been so rushed since that started, it's weird. Normally things go slow, but…"

"Things have been so hectic, it's hard to pay attention to the years going by." Alfred took a swig from his bottle. "But everything's led up to this, and I can't wait to rub it in that commie's face at the next world meeting that I kicked his ass and got there first."

"Please don't go too far," The Canadian asked, sighing. "I really don't want this to start another world war because someone lost their temper."

"Please, you and I both know he doesn't have the guts to do that right now, not when it'd end the world as we know it. He'll pose and complain and insult me but he's not gonna lift a finger when it can be taken the wrong way."

Mathieu made a face but didn't reply, wishing his friend, for all his recent accomplishments, hadn't started letting it all get to his head. It was one thing living next to someone who was overly confident, but quite another for that same person to also have an ego the size of his country. It led to little irritants like the Free Trade Agreement, or the polar conflicts, or the Cuban embargo, or…

Sometimes, Alfred made it hard to remember he was separate from America, just like Mathieu was separate from Canada. Yes, that was  _what_  they were, but that wasn't  _who_  they were, and keeping the two apart mentally should have been easier than the southern Nation had been making it seem lately.

(At the least, Mathieu was sure at this point that his feelings weren't just a side effect of their political closeness, because sometimes - alright, a lot of times - Canada  _really_  wanted to smack some sense into America even if that'd cause trouble down the line.

Damn Alfred for being so handsome and cheerful when his other side was an absolute shit.)

"Hey, Mattie," Alfred drew the Canadian out of his thoughts. "What's been going on up at your place? I've been so busy I haven't really had a good time to ask about it all."

Mathieu raised an eyebrow, but when the earnest expression failed to drop he sighed, sitting back and thinking about what would be most important. "You've already met my new boss…"

"Fun guy," Alfred cheerfully replied, though the thin veneer of sarcasm wasn't lost in the statement. "Interesting ideas."

"He's not that bad," The Canadian countered, thinking back on the reforms the man had introduced before taking office, including the legalization of homosexuality which had finally given him a chance to relax some of his fears of being found out. If nothing else, the man allowed him to feel safe in his own borders again, even knowing that it'd take time for the more conservative types to come around to the idea that there was nothing immoral about who you willingly took to bed with you.

"He'd be better if he didn't spend time looking at commie texts and sympathizing with them," The southern Nation muttered under his breath.

Mathieu ignored him, returning to the original question. "I remember you being at the Expo - I hope you had a good time with your States…"

The American perked up. "Oh, we all had a ton of fun at that! Even though I had to keep Bella and Ben from fighting, but that's normal for the course and Ginny was able to deal with that anyways."

Mathieu smiled in relief. "That's good - the Provinces enjoyed themselves as well, and Joseph was very proud of how well it turned out…"

He trailed off, recalling what had come after that event and resisting the urge to bite his lip. He'd felt it coming for a while now, but to hear his once-caretaker - the guy who'd raised him for most of his life when Francis and then Arthur couldn't be there, because the others weren't interested in dealing with the young Nation-to-be - speak so casually of striking his own path…

"...Matt?"

"Huh?" Mathieu shook his head, smiling and waving off the other's concern. "Sorry, just remembering something. Ah, what else happened… oh, did you see my new flag?"

The American frowned but accepted the diversion, glancing away as he thought. "I think I remember it from the expo… wasn't it the one with the leaf on it?"

"Yeah, that's it," The Canadian grinned. "Since you'd already gone with stars, I figured I'd try something a bit different for my own flag."

"Yeah well, it looks ridiculous," Alfred stuck his tongue out in a fit of maturity.

Mathieu smacked him none too gently. "Hey, I like the flag, and yours is completely unoriginal compared to mine - oh, stars and stripes, what brand new concept."

"Excuse you?" The American asked, glasses glinted as he dipped his head to hide his eyes. "What'd you say about my flag?"

"It's completely unoriginal," Mathieu cheerfully repeated. "also, your hearing must be going, because I'm sure I wasn't that quiet about it."

Alfred let slip a battlecry, tackling his neighbor off of the couch and prompted a short lived contest of dominance that would have probably been more balanced if Alfred hadn't had the unfortunate boon of absurd levels of strength and body mass. Mathieu grinned up at the other man, unphased by the annoyance being leveled at him.

"Take it back."

"Non."

"Take it back."

"You first."

The two stared each other down, Mathieu only noticing after a bit the… compromising position they were in and forcing his startled reaction to that down…

Far,  _far_  down.

Alfred huffed, eventually giving in when it was clear the northern Nation wouldn't. "Fine, I'm sorry I called your flag dumb, okay?"

"And I'm sorry I called yours unoriginal. Truce?"

"Truce." Finally Alfred got off of him, clambering to his feet before helping the Canadian up, and for once Mathieu was thankful his neighbor wasn't fast to catch on to things, because he was almost certain he was flushed at this point, and not from the July heat.

"You want another drink?" The American asked. "Since I just finished off mine and the landing's gonna happen soon."

"That'd be nice, thanks," Mathieu smiled until his friend had disappeared into the kitchen, sinking back into his seat with a groan.

Why, oh why was America so reluctant to follow his neighbor's example and lift the ban on same-sex relationships? It wasn't like the Russians would ever consider such a thing, and his own country had overcome their Catholic history to start accepting it. All Mathieu wanted was to not feel like he'd be kicked out just for his interests.

(Even if it means nothing in terms of his own chances, it would at least give Alfred's people a chance for happiness where he couldn't.

...not that things were perfect back in his own land, but change had never come easily.)

He felt a bottle tapped against his shoulder, accepting it once it was put into his open hand. "Thanks, Al."

"No problem."

Mathieu opened the bottle and took a sip, glancing to his friend who was tapping his fingers impatiently against the couch chair. "What do you think will come after this?"

"Huh?" Alfred turned to look at him, thinking over the question before answering. "Well, there's at least a few more missions to the moon planned, but I'm not really sure - it'd take a lot of resources to build a base, and Mars is a lot further away than the Moon, so we'd have to go through another couple of designs before we hit one that'll last a crew that long…"

"Hey, it'll be fun at least, right?" The Canadian asked with a smile. "Going to new worlds, seeing what's out there in the universe."

"Yeah…" He agreed, looking away and up to the sky. "It's been amazing."

Mathieu hid another flush at the warm grin that Alfred bore at the possibilities, feeling like maybe he'd had enough to drink for the day and that, for both their sakes, it'd be better to put it down…

The television flickered to life, the reporters eagerly announcing the incoming video feed from the mission, and all banter was forgotten as they both leaned forward to watch. The wait was agonizing, stretching on for far longer than the Canadian had imagined; his people were almost as invested as the Americans, waiting for the most important moment in history to come to pass.

" _That's one small step for man,_ " Armstrong announced as he hopped down from the ladder to the soil of the Moon, voice and video fuzzy from the long distance transmission. " _One giant leap for mankind._ "

It felt like a bubble bursting all at once, his people's excitement mingling with his own and leaving him buzzing and alive like never before. He leapt up with Alfred, cheering and turning to the other to get wrapped in a tight hug and returning it in full force.

Drunk on the excitement and the beer, he really didn't stop to think his next action through, which ended up with him failing to recognize he'd pressed his lips to Alfred's until five seconds after the deed was done.

_Tabernac._

~0~0~

"...And by the time I'd realized what had happened and pulled away, he'd already frozen up," Mathieu recounted around a cup of tea, hands shaking as he stared into its depths. "I didn't wait to see how he'd react - I don't… I can't…"

Arthur, who had not expecting his morning to start with his colony dropping in unannounced, wild eyed and nearly dead from frantic exhaustion, nodded in understanding but otherwise did not reply right away. "Don't start beating yourself up over it - you couldn't have known how your people's reaction would affect you right then, and nothing you did was immoral."

"I know that, but…" The Canadian bit his lip, looking down into his tea as if it has the answer he was looking for. "What if he hates me now? What if he's so disgusted that he never speaks to me again?"

The Englishman sighed, setting his own tea down to lean forward and give the younger Nation a flat look. "Do you really think Alfred is so shallow that he'd throw away years of friendship with you over a mere kiss?"

"I…" Mathieu took a breath and thought about it, eventually shaking his head minutely. "I don't… think so… but he and Ivan…"

"I can't pretend to know anything behind the circumstances of that," Arthur replied. "But as far as I can tell, you aren't undergoing any sort of radical governmental shift, so I have my doubts his reaction will be anywhere close to as extreme as you fear."

Mathieu bit down his fears about Quebec, about Joseph, instead replying with another, "I guess…"

Arthur exhaled, looking somewhat more sympathetic to Mathieu's defeated expression. "Give him a chance to think - even if things don't turn out as you hope, I sincerely doubt he would ever go so far as to cut you out of his life; you're far too important to him."

When the Canadian glanced up at him in question, Arthur allowed himself a small smile. "When we aren't talking business, he simply can't shut up about you once the topic comes up. It's a wonder he has time to brag about himself with how much time he devotes to fawning over everything that's come from your side of the border."

Mathieu flushed at the idea, a small smile coming to his lips as he imagined it. "Really?"

"Oh yes, it's horrid," Arthur grinned a bit more. "I've had to smack him once or twice to get him to shut up, and he always pouts like he'd fifty years old all over again."

"He does that when I won't let him do something stupid, like ride over the falls in a barrel," Mathieu supplied. "But he wouldn't really be him if he wasn't a kid at heart."

"It's refreshing outside of politics," The Englishman agreed. "It's nice to be reminded that there's still plenty to smile about even in these times."

"Yeah…" Mathieu sighed wistfully.

"And that, Mathieu, is why I'm not worried he'll do more than melt his brains out thinking about your actions. You're still brothers at arm regardless of your exact relationship; trust him to do the right thing."

The Canadian nodded far more thoughtfully, thinking back to words uttered by his brother's boss years ago.

_Those whom nature hath so joined together, let no man put asunder._

He hoped those words would hold true even now - he wouldn't be able to handle it otherwise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoopsies, did I do that? But ehehehe first kiss did not go quite to plan and now poor Mattie's all freaked out about it. At least Arthur can be a decent guy and help out with it all even if Matt's still a bit freaked. And I know I've been wandering away from flirty Matt, but he WILL be making a comeback once he knows where he stands again, which should hopefully make up for failing to do so before now.


	9. One Giant Leap

Even though it'd only been two weeks since this whole mess had escalated, Mathieu could still barely believe that the extremists who had been causing havoc for almost the past decade had gone so far as to kidnap foreign politicians, then go one to murder one of his, forcing his boss to actually send in the military to help stop them.

Lord, it had escalated to needing the War Measures Act in a time of peace - or at least he hoped it would stay that way, because he didn't want to find out how Arthur or the others might react to their people being dragged into what had until now been an internal affair. All he needed now to make things worse was either the onset of a third World War or his own Civil War, neither of which seemed likely, but then again…

(At the least, Joseph had come forward and genuinely apologized for not stepping in sooner, which was mildly reassuring, but not enough to keep the other Provinces from chewing him out for his inactivity up to then.)

How had things even gotten to this point? His people had been working hard to catch all the people behind this movement, but there just seemed to be more every time he turned around. For a brief moment his paranoia entertained the idea of this mess involving Communist infiltrators, but shoved it away, knowing his panic over the idea would not help right now.

But what could he do? His boss had expressly forbidden him from trying to track down the leaders himself just in case they killed Cross like they had Pierre, and he really wasn't interested in paperwork right now for obvious reasons.

Which left him with… nothing to do.

Great.

He let his head fall into his hands, doing his best to rub away the headache forming from his frustration. When had everything fallen to this?

There was a knock on the door.

Mathieu lifted his head, wondering if he'd misheard, but no, there it was again. It wasn't one of his people, so who…?

He slowly pushed himself up from his seat, making his way over to the doorway and opening it after the next set of knocks had ended. And then slammed it closed again.

" _Tabernac_ ," He muttered to himself, feeling a flare of panic as the thoughts he'd been suppressing for over a year now came back in a flash. This was really the worst possible time to be dealing with this, so why-

"Mattie?" His surprise visitor asked from the other side of the door. "Uh, are you alright? Do you need me to get someone?"

Mathieu closed his eyes and took several breaths, trying to whet his suddenly dry mouth. He could do this - all he had to deal with was either Alfred gently letting him down or else explaining why they couldn't speak to each other anymore. Right, he could totally handle this.

He opened the door again, forcing on a smile. "Sorry about that; you just surprised me is all."

"I'll say," Alfred replied, still looking concerned. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I-" He sighed, smile a bit thinner. "As good as I can be right now, all things considered."

"Yeah," The American shifted on his feet. "I heard about the kidnappings and stuff, and I thought, y'know, maybe you might want something to take your mind off of it for a bit? Because I know how much it sucks to be in a situation like this and you can't help out because it might make things worse even though you could totes handle it just fine-"

"Alfred, you're rambling," Mathieu cut in, relaxing fractionally from the brief amusement it brought.

"Right, sorry," Alfred apologized, trailing the conversation, such as it was, into an awkward silence.

The Canadian eventually broke it, it only out of manners drilled into him by both his mentors. "Do you want to come in?"

"Oh! Ah, sure," The other agreed, waiting for Mathieu to step back before coming inside and allowing the door to be shut behind him. "So… how've things been, besides the, y'know…"

"They've… been." Mathieu replied eventually, with a lack of other things to describe. "Besides all this, generally things have been improving for most people."

"That's good," Alfred flashed a grin before it faded again. "I'm, ah, sorry I didn't pay much attention to the stuff happening up here before now, which I know probably makes me a really shitty neighbor and everything."

"You were distracted by the space race and your wars, it's fine," Mathieu replied, even though the temptation to ask how exactly he had missed it was strong, but it was obvious the other felt awful about it already, so he decided not to add to it. "I would have brought it up if I'd thought you could help, but since it was all internal only, I don't think my boss would have agreed to help from you even if you offered it."

"Still, I could have at least offered, like, moral support or something, maybe gotten my people to show support for your side and weaken these guys' case." Alfred grimaced. "I mean, they obviously are now that its headlining all the newspapers and tv stations, but I dunno if that's as much help as it could've been."

"Maybe," Mathieu replied, not really sure what else to say to that. "...was that all you came up here for?"

"Ah," Alfred ducked his head, looking distinctly uncomfortable now as he replied, "Actually, there's something else…"

"Oh?" He had a sinking feeling about where this was gonna go. "If you don't want to talk about it…"

"No," The American cut in firmly, after a second continuing much more quietly. "No, we need to talk about this. You've been avoiding me for the past year now."

"I've been busy," Mathieu offered weakly.

"So busy you can't take even one of my calls, even if it's for business?"

The Canadian hissed, knowing his use of his Provinces to filter all his calls would come around to bite him in the ass. "Has that affected trade somehow?"

"Matt, forget the damned Nation thing for a minute," Alfred grit out, starting to look frustrated. "You and I both know this isn't about our countries, it's about us. As people."

Well, there was no backing out now. He sighed, shoulders drooping. "The kiss."

"Yeah, that." Alfred exhaled, nodding his head slowly. "You know, it's probably a good thing you ran out initially, because my knee jerk reaction was probably gonna be a bit like what you did."

"I see," Mathieu replied dully, really wishing he didn't.

"Hey, I said initially, I've had more than a year to think and talk to people about it since then, alright?" The southern Nation shrugged. "After I snapped out of it, I sorta went to Ginny since she's, well, probably the person I trust most to not freak out about it, and I explained it all to her and stuff and then asked what I should do."

"And she said to come talk to me?"

"Well, yeah, that was one thing," Alfred admitted. "But she also asked me what I wanted to do about it, not what my people or my bosses or the other Nations would. That… sorta took a bit longer for me to eventually decide because, y'know, I'm not exactly the most experienced in this sort of thing, but I eventually decided on something."

"...and?" Mathieu wondered where this was going, because so far nothing Alfred had said really leaned one way or the other aside from his initial admittance.

"When did you first start liking me?"

"Huh?" The Canadian took a second to parse the question. "...remember when I came down in the twenties to visit you in New Jersey?"

"...at the speakeasy, right?" Mathieu nodded in confirmation. "Yeah, we chatted for a bit, Sue dragged me off, and when we got back you'd disappeared and I didn't really see you again for a long while." Alfred frowned. "Wait, were you avoiding me then, too?"

"...I was," Mathieu admitted after a long pause, figuring he might as well come clean now. "But to my credit, I was still trying not to off myself for going against basically everything the church and Francis had taught me, so I wouldn't have been the best company then."

"What changed?"

"I… talked to someone." Mathieu didn't want to out Arthur right now, even indirectly, allowing Alfred to come to his own conclusions there instead. "And they set me straight. Actually told me that if you would let it get in the way of us still being friends, then you wouldn't be worth it anyways."

"Sounds a bit like something Ginny or Bella would say," Alfred grinned, the expression managing to linger this time.

"Well they are better than us when it comes to all this," Mathieu agreed, smiling a bit as well.

"That they are," Alfred nodded, allowing the conversation to lapse into a more comfortable silence.

Eventually, thought, Mathieu had to ask, if only to affirm one way or the other how things would change for them. "...so what did you decide?"

"I decided," Alfred started slowly. "That I don't know."

"...you don't know?" Was that even a real answer?

"I don't know if I like you that way, or if I will," Alfred admitted, crushing Matt a bit on the inside. "But what I do know is that, really, the worst that can happen is that we just… don't work out. I can't imagine us ever having a fight bad enough to make us hate each other, so avoiding what might turn out to be something really good for both of us would probably just have me wondering for the rest of my life if I'd missed out, and really, I can't think of anyone else I'd trust with a first time deal… I mean, if you're still alright with it?"

It took a long minute for Mathieu to find his voice, and even then it came out faint, his mind scarcely able to believe this was actually happening. "Yeah," He replied, feeling a smile creep up at the corners of his mouth. "Yeah, I think that's alright."

It would be better than alright, he thought. It might even be perfect, once everything else was over with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well finally! Of course, as I stated in the chapter, this wasn't exactly the best time for them to hash this out, and there will be consequences seen next time, but I can finally say the AmeCan is here so everyone go nuts and celebrate. The rest of the chapters I have planned should wrap up all the main outstanding issues, and then I'll be free to start up other projects, so yay me.


	10. Pride Cometh Before The Fall

"I think I like it here already," Mathieu commented after they'd slid into opposite sides of the booth. "It's friendly."

"That's part of the point of a diner," Alfred replied with a grin, pulling over one of the menus at their table to start browsing through it. "I figured it'd be nice since Sue recommended it, and since we're both here anyways, I thought it might be nice to hang out and stuff, ya know?"

"You've been missing me, then?" The Canadian smiled, flashing just a hint of teeth when Alfred flushed and glanced back down to his menu. After finally getting a happy closure to his worries, he'd had the fond joy of realizing that for all his brashness and attention seeking, Alfred really couldn't handle direct flirting without becoming a shy, blushing wreck, something Mathieu used to full advantage whenever they were alone together.

"Well, yeah, of course," Alfred replied once the blush faded a bit, glancing back up with his own heart-warming smile. "It's been like three months."

"It has," Mathieu agreed. "But that's what happens when both of us are swamped with paperwork, I suppose."

The American made a face. "Ulgh, no kidding. But I've gotten through most of it so I should have some free time after the meetings if you want to stick around."

"I'll have to check in and see if anything critical's come up first," Mathieu apologized, sighing in sympathy at the brief droop of the other's form before continuing. "But I think I could make room for a week or so off."

Alfred perked back up. "You know, we should totally go down to Disney; I've heard they've got some neat new rides and stuff since I last went down there, and it's way more fun to go with someone than on your own."

"The one in Florida?" Mathieu asked, sighing at the affirmative nod. "I'll have to remember some sunscreen, but I'd be alright with that. You know I don't do well in the heat."

"It's fall, so it'll be cool enough," Alfred promised. "And I'll pack some too just in case."

"I'll hold you to that," The Canadian mock-threatened with a fork, not bothering to drop his smile as their waitress finally appeared to take their orders.

"What'll you two be having?" She asked, glancing between them and flushing slightly as she met Mathieu's grin.

"I'm not quite sure, actually," Mathieu replied, glancing back down to his menu before looking back up to her. "Is there anything you'd recommend?"

"Ah, well," She returned the smile. "I really enjoy the BLT they have here."

"Then I suppose I'll have to give that a try, if it comes with such high praise." He winked, feeling a bit smug that he still had his easy charm even if he hadn't practiced much lately.

"Great!" She beamed. "Would you like a drink with that?"

"Just water, I think." Mathieu decided after glancing back down to the menu.

"Alrighty," The waitress nodded, turning to Alfred. "And you, sir?"

Mathieu set his menu down and glanced up, frowning when he saw Alfred staring at his own sourly. "Al?"

"A coke and hamburger for me." The southern Nation replied shortly, setting his menu down as well and not looking up as she took them both.

"Right," She replied after a second, glancing to Mathieu sympathetically. "Your food should be done in about fifteen minutes."

The waitress left, leaving the two alone in a suddenly awkward silence that the Canadian wasn't quite sure how to break. Alfred still wasn't looking at him, and with nothing else to do he reluctantly asked, "Er, is something wrong?"

"It's nothing," Alfred bit out, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. "Just remembering some stuff I have to do."

"Ah," Mathieu relaxed again, smiling. "Don't let yourself worry about that - it's why we're here together right now, isn't it?"

The American hummed in annoyance but nodded, relaxing after another deep breath and putting on another small smile that none the less felt a bit less light than before. After taking a moment to think, Mathieu hit on what he figured would be a safe topic to take Alfred's mind off of other things.

"How has Tony been doing?"

Alfred perked up at that, sitting back as he began to detail the recent shenanigans the alien had gotten into both on and off planet, complete with sound effects and wild hand gestures that emphasized his enthusiasm. Mathieu was content to listen, resting his head on a hand while smiling.

Alfred was right in the middle of describing the alien's most recent misadventure out in space when the waitress returned with their food.

"Wow, this looks great," Mathieu complemented, smiling at her and drawing out another flush. "Thank you for recommending it."

"No problem," She replied, flashing a small smile back. "Just let me know if you need anything at all, alright?"

"I'll keep that in mind," The Canadian promised, turning back to his food after she left and deciding to start in. The first bite told him he'd made the right call, though with recommendation from one of Alfred's States he figured it would be good in any case.

He glanced up to tell Alfred as such, only to hesitate when he saw the American tear a bite out with a bit more force than necessary. Maybe it'd be better to wait just a bit, then…

By the time they finished their meals and left, neither of them had spoken, and Mathieu's concern had been pushed aside in favor of annoyance. Alfred was the one to invite him out here to catch up and spend time together after the meetings, so why was he suddenly acting like he didn't even want him around?

Even now, Alfred was a few steps ahead, pointedly not talking to him even as they both walked back to his car for the likely awkward trip back to his apartment. Something really needed to be done, and soon, because really this was just getting ridiculous.

"Alfred, I don't know what's going on, but you're being ridiculous. I thought you wanted to hang out, but you've been ignoring me since we got our food."

The American stopped, turning to Mathieu with an incredulous expression. "I'm being ridiculous? You're the one who was flirting with the women in there even though we were in the middle of a date!"

"Flirting?" Mathieu frowned, trying to see what the issue was. "I was only being friendly."

"You were winking at the waitress and staring at her ass when she went to get us our check!"

"I wasn't looking at her ass," The Canadian denied, though he did realize with a little guilt that he had been staring at her legs… "You could have said something, you know."

"I thought it was obvious that when you were on a date with someone, you don't spend that time  _flirting with other people!_ "

"I'm not even asking for their numbers or making passes," Mathieu felt the need to defend. "It can barely be called flirting if I'm just complimenting them."

"God damnit, Matt," Alfred exhaled sharply, fists clenched tightly. "Do you even seriously want this relationship, or are you just stringing me along until you can fuck a few favors out of me?"

Mathieu's jaw dropped at the accusation. "You're the one who never said anything - maybe you're the one not taking this seriously!"

"You're right, maybe I should have," Alfred agreed, voice dripping with cold fire. "It's been ten years, and in all that time I shoved down my disappointment when you looked at other people like you'd consider bedding them, figuring I was reading too much into it, that you were getting over old habits, that you'd actually start acting like a fucking boyfriend and not a one night stand once you got past the stress of recent politics."

He shook his head, looking disappointed now as well. "Obviously that was the wrong decision, because you haven't learned or changed a damn bit in all that time. Sometimes I wonder if you're actually telling the truth about liking me or if I'm just a convenient fuck buddy between being your neighbor and being a wealthy superpower."

The words stung, the Canadian reeling back like he'd been physically struck. How dare he accuse Mathieu's feelings of being anything less than genuine! "Why would I bother faking it? You snore in bed, you take up far too much room, you're loud, obnoxious, zealous, overbearing, attention hogging, and utterly oblivious to the things around you. All of which I've been willing to overlook so far for you."

Alfred went still. Absolutely frozen, as if he'd turned to marble on the spot, blank gaze settled onto the northern Nation.

Then he started shaking, starting with his chest and rippling outwards, suddenly filled with so much energy it seemed fit to burst, and Mathieu felt the overwhelming urge to start cowering, but refused out of anger or pride.

"Fuck you, Canada. And here I thought you were better than Francis, but at least he doesn't lie about being an unfaithful whore."

 _Canada._  The word dropped ice down him more than the insult to his character, cooling his rage abruptly and leaving him with hollow horror as he watched the American turn on his heel and leave.  _When was the last time he'd been called that?_

He thought back, farther and farther, eventually hitting on the last time they'd been at war more than a century and a half ago.  _Tabernac_ , even when they'd argued over participating in wars or civil conflicts, they'd called each other by their human names, because they were best friends, neighbors,  _partners_.

He swallowed, feeling the last of his heart sink to the mud as he stared after Alfred. Everything he'd said weighed him down further, because he realized with no small amount of shame that a part of him that had always broiled with resentment had genuinely meant them, no matter that the rest of him could not imagine Alfred without many of the traits that had caused Mathieu to fall in love in the first place.

He'd fucked up bad, and he didn't know if he could fix it. But he had to try.

~0~0~

It was a long hour to trudge his way back to the apartment Alfred was staying in here, a long hour that cooled off whatever anger remained and leaving him feeling particularly numb in the inside. Honestly, if he'd been in Alfred shoes, he wouldn't bother with forgiving himself, because what he'd done and said were so far beyond the line it couldn't even be seen anymore.

At the door he hesitated, wondering if he should even be attempting this right now, but he really wasn't sure of the next time they'd see each other if he turned away - it could be months, and he didn't want to stew over his own failures for that long.

With that thought in mind he knocked and waited. And waited. And waited a bit more, feeling his head slump down in defeat right before he heard a muttered, "What do you want now?"

"I'm sorry," Mathieu apologized, feeling even more like scum on hearing the state he'd reduced Alfred to. "You're right. I should have thought about what I was doing, but I didn't, and I don't have any good excuse for it. I shouldn't have insulted you like I did, no matter how angry I was, and I definitely shouldn't have tried to deliberately hurt you for petty revenge.

"I know you don't have reason to believe me, but I am completely sorry for hurting you for so long and not noticing, and I understand if you want to go…"

He trailed off, not sure what else he could say, leaving them at another stretch of silence. Part of him wondered at whether Alfred would just wait for him to leave, would refuse to answer, but all he heard was the eventual click of the door being unlocked.

Accepting the peace offering for what it was, he pushed the door open slowly and stepped inside, waiting for his neighbor to kick him out again at any second, especially when he didn't speak up right away, just stared at the northern Nation with drying cheeks.

"...you weren't completely wrong, either," Alfred eventually admitted, looking away towards nothing in particular. "I should have said something sooner, but I didn't know how to mention it without sounding overly jealous or controlling. I know you hate it when I try to tell you what to do, and I really wanted to try and avoid that when we're still figuring all this out, but I guess it just ended up making things worse."

He closed his eyes and laughed weakly, almost looking defeated. "I mean, I know I'm obnoxious and overbearing and stuff, but I thought that those might not be bad, yeah? Because I mean you didn't hate me for them, even if the rest of the world did, and I thought that'd be enough."

Alfred was set to continue, but Mathieu put a stop to that by resting his hand over the American's mouth. "Alfred, I didn't mean any of those things. I was completely serious when I said I wouldn't bother faking my affections towards you, because there's nothing to gain, especially when our people are so worked up over this."

Alfred relaxed, smiling just a touch, but it was enough. "I think we should probably try and learn to talk this sort of thing out if we want to try again, because I'm really not interested in another blow up like this."

"You're telling me," Mathieu sighed, allowing himself to smile a touch as well. "I think I can live with that plan if it means things get better from here on out."

"That's the spirit," The American joked. "Nowhere to go from here but up, right?"

"Right."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this took nearly a week of crying and floundering to get done, but I did it, so yay only two or three more chapters to go depending on what I want to do to wrap stuff up. I'm figuring I might do a bit more with Arthur's little issue but I'm still thinking of how to do that tastefully, but I should be able to finish this story up in the first week of July, so look forward to that!


	11. This Is What We Are Fighting For

Mathieu sighed, idly doodling over his notes while pretending he was paying attention to whoever was currently speaking. (...Iceland, right.) It had already been a long week of meetings, and this one unfortunately was having to run overtime due to some last minute scheduling changes that forced people to scramble to complete their reports with little warning.

(His presentation hadn't been interrupted, thankfully, but he'd had to help Alfred through a frantic night of throwing together last minute updates to his report without all the data he'd been waiting for because his had been move to the first day as opposed to the fifth.

They'd almost slept through the start of the meeting, only there because Arthur, bless his soul, had figured something like that would happen and had shown up with two cups of coffee forty minutes before they needed to be there. The smell alone had been almost enough to kiss him, but Mathieu had refrained if only because he'd wanted to down the heavenly liquid as soon as possible, regardless of scalding.)

It was understandably stressful on all of them, and he was sure he wasn't alone in just wanting to end this torture already so they could relax before heading home, but sadly that would force rescheduling for the next meeting as well, and quite frankly going through all this again was something none of them wanted.

And so the meeting went on.

Alfred, seated to his right, leaned a bit closer so he could whisper, "Where were you thinking for dinner after this?"

The Canadian smiled, sending a glance to his boyfriend to show he'd heard the question. "I've heard there's a nice place a few blocks from the hotel, and since it's not a tourist trap it shouldn't be too crowded by the time we get there."

"Oh? What sorta food?"

"Nothing too weird, if that's what you're worried about."

The American pouted, glancing around quickly just to be sure they hadn't caught anyone's attention yet. "It was slugs, Mattie, you can't seriously expect me to eat those. I can handle bugs, I can even put up with the freaking weirdo ant-covered chocolate of yours, but slugs are just freakin' nasty, dude."

"I know, I know," Mathieu comforted, nudging his leg with a hand under the table before pulling it away. No need for too much affectionate contact in public, after all - the other would still understand. "You have a wider palette than I do as it is, I just thought your reaction would be funny, which is was."

"You're a jerk," Alfred replied with a small grin, nudging Mathieu back with a knee. "A horrible horrible jerk and I hate you."

" _I love you too,_ " The Canadian replied easily in French, looking back again for just long enough to see the lovely duck and flush he always got when using it.

" _Mean,_ " Alfred replied, having had strong motivation to refresh his skills in the language lately. " _Using your charms against me isn't fair and you know it, especially here._ "

" _I'm sure you'll get revenge once we're alone again, hmm?_ " Mathieu carefully bit back a smile as he allowed himself to guess just how Alfred intended to do so this time.

A knock from the other side of the superpower drew both of their attentions, Arthur giving them both a raised eyebrow and pointed look before gesturing up to the podium. Both of them mouthed an apology at him, turning back to the speaker while knocking their knees together again, satisfied enough with that to last them through the rest of the day.

...okay, maybe Mathieu was a bit eager to continue where they had been going, but he was an immortal teenager, what did you expect? And he and Alfred hadn't seen each other in months - barely even speaking - so some time to simply relax together was basically mandatory at this point.

After another few long, drawn out minutes, Iceland finally finished, everyone thankful to see Ludwig step up again to thank everyone for working with him this go around and that the next meeting was to be held in England, and to speak with him if they needed more details.

(Not everyone had a computer with internet yet, so it was still a necessary practice, but Alfred and Arthur were both very sure that within the decade scheduling or rescheduling meetings would be as easy as clicking a few buttons. Mathieu eagerly looked forward to that day for more than one reason.)

"Where were you thinking of hosting it this time?" Alfred asked their once-mentor as they gathered up their papers.

"Cambridge, I think," Arthur replied easily. "Somewhere other than London will be a nice change of scenery for everyone after the last few meeting places."

"Sounds good," Mathieu agreed, pressing a finger to his lips in sudden thought. "Will we be able to visit the local university while we're there? I know Alfred's wanted an excuse to drop by for a while now, and since we'll be in the area..."

The American ducked his head and flushed again while Arthur chuckled, grinning as he tucked the rest of his papers away. "I can see if that can be arranged. He shouldn't be too much of a bother so long as he doesn't try to shake everyone's hands again."

"One time and they never let you forget it," Alfred groaned pitifully, letting his head fall to the table while the other two just laughed. "I'm surrounded by cruel, vindictive people…"

"Oh, you know we love you," Mathieu teased, sitting up again when he spied the small group starting to converge on them (or more specifically, Arthur), Francis leading the way.

Arthur let most of his grin drop, back to a more business like attitude now that it wasn't just them anymore. "Yes, can I help you?"

"We're just here for the information for next meeting," Francis promised, laid back in a way that had Mathieu narrowing his eyes. The man seemed way too easy going around someone who he almost always strived to pick fights with, and Arthur and Alfred had both picked up on it as well if their own expressions said anything.

"Right, it's going to be in Cambridge, I've already cleared it with my boss," The Englishman nodded, pulling out the strips of paper he'd brought ahead of time just for this. "Airport and hotel information are on here, so feel free to call ahead and reserve rooms and seats now if you like."

A few of the Nations murmured thanks and left after taking one, though the majority seemed to linger, sensing the fight to come. Of course there had to be an audience - like things couldn't honestly get worse.

Arthur, having no choice but to take the silently offered bait, asked, "Did you need something else?"

"Oh, not much," Francis replied, smiling far too cheerfully now. "Just wondering if you would be introducing us to your little human boy toy while we're there."

The Englishman stiffened, entire gaze focused on burning the face off of the other Nation, while Mathieu glanced around at the mildly discomforted expressions on many who weren't quite comfortable with the whole 'gay is perfectly alright' concept yet. "I would think you'd already know it's no one's business but my own on who I choose to see in my spare time."

"And miss a chance to note your personal failures?" The Frenchman tisked. "If you're so incompetent at charming women that you have to settle for men, you could have at least admitted it to me so I could help you."

"I am perfectly capable of charming women or men as I feel," Arthur bit out, scowling fiercely now. "Probably far better than you, considering they're willing to stay for more than a single night."

"Pheh, if that's what you tell yourself to make you feel better, then I suppose there's no hope for you," Francis shook his head, turning to Mathieu and grinning again. "Unlike my dear Mathieu, who has learned all the proper ways to woo women, isn't that right?"

"A long while ago, sure," The Canadian skirted, very carefully not glancing to Alfred. "I've learned a lot on my own since then."

"Of course, of course," Francis beamed. "All to the better to learn one's own tricks so as to make best use of their resources. I trust you've been keeping in practice?"

"Sort of," Mathieu continued to dodge. "I've been rather busy, so I haven't had much time for that sort of thing."

"Ah, I suppose that could hamper things, yes. Still, you should take a break, have some fun, lest you become a bitter and desperate old man like Arthur here."

Arthur looked hurt by the comment, though he'd covered it up fast enough that only Mathieu noticed, causing his blood to start to boil. Seriously, there was no reason to be this cruel to the man just because he happened to be seeing another man, and airing this sort of thing in a room of people who wouldn't react positively to the news was just- just-

Alfred grabbed his wrist, drawing his attention and looking remarkably grim. Perhaps more than one person had noticed, then.

Mathieu got an idea. Glancing between Arthur, Francis, and the others again, he pressed his lips together and finally looked back to Alfred while mouthing, ' _Should we?'_

A small, hesitant nod once the other had guessed what he meant was all he got, but that was enough.

Raising his voice enough to grab the attention of anyone still lingering, Mathieu replied with an almost amused expression hiding his gut churning worries that this would end even worse than it would if he'd just left well enough alone. "Trust me, I'm hardly worried about anything like that, Francis."

"Oh really?" The man raised an eyebrow, while out of the corner of his eye he could see Arthur's gaze widen as he caught on to the fringes of the plan. "How come?"

"Because," He replied, turning to Alfred significantly. "I have something much better now."

And with that, he deliberately leaned over and, for the first time in full public, pressed his lips to Alfred's in a way that no one would mistake for anything other than romantically. His boyfriend had leaned in as well to help close the distance, bringing a hand up to gently rest on the back of Mathieu's head and hold him close, Mathieu clasping both of his behind Alfred's neck to do the same.

After a long enough stretch to drive the point in they separated, both of them turning to give the now gaping crowd a pointed look while their hands still lingered on each other's shoulders.

"Now if you'll excuse us, my boyfriend and I still have some things to discuss with Arthur, so unless you have anything else to discuss with him…"

Francis, face completely blank now, simply crunched the slip of paper with the information in one hand, his briefcase in the other, and stormed out of the room, everyone else following while muttering to each other and sending baffled glances to the duo, eventually leaving only three in the immediate area.

"You didn't have to do that, you know," Arthur told them softly, shaking his head. "Francis would have gotten bored and the others would have let it drop rather than think about it too much."

"Well now they'll all have to talk about it, won't they?" Alfred exhaled, bringing his hand down to clasp firmly with Mathieu's now that he didn't really have to hide it anymore. "If it's you it might not be a big deal, but if it's the resident superpower, well, they'll either have to stop talking to me or get over their problems, won't they?"

"Are your people on board with this?" The Englishman frowned. "If you get hurt by them-"

"They'll come around," Mathieu replied quietly. "Not today and not tomorrow, but eventually. It's just how things go with us. Even then, there'll always be people who can't stand us, but we've had a few decades already to get over most of our concern over them."

"We're in this for the long haul," Alfred agreed. "And we're with you regardless of what the others say, alright?"

"...Thank you," Arthur replied eventually, softly smiling now. "Both of you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one more chapter to go and then I can call this fic a wrap as well! This has been quite the adventure and unlike my other fics has been genuinely enjoyable to write from start to finish. Probably because I had plans for the entire trip and I stuck to only a dozen longer chapters instead of a million short chapters that extended the pain. I'm still thinking about whether I should admit to the Eng ship I was thinking of for this fic or to keep it secret and leave it to your imaginations – both have their benefits after all...


	12. Reminiscing

"So why'd you drag me all the way out here?" Mathieu asked once they'd wandered far enough away from the small mansion Alfred called his country house that most of the sounds of the party inside were muffled by the trees between them. "Have you finally decided to check having your wicked way with me in a snow bank off your list?"

Alfred choked and turned to his boyfriend, pouting after he realized it had been a teasing joke. "C'mon, you know that was a joke; no way I'm gonna try anything like that in the cold. I just figured we could chill out here, watch the fireworks and welcome in the New Year on our own."

"Really now?" Mathieu grinned. "And here I thought you weren't a fan of the chilly weather."

"You know what I meant you butt," The American groaned, shoving lightly at his boyfriend.

"I do, and I appreciate the sentiment. By the way, is this…"

"The lake we played in when we were living together, yeah," Alfred smiled, leading the other down to the shoreline, which provided a lovely view of the starry skies above, free from nearly all light pollution. "Brings back memories, doesn't it?"

"It does," Mathieu agreed, cuddling up close after they'd seated themselves on a large boulder that had apparently been cleared ahead of time for the occasion. "Arthur always got so mad when we'd shove each other into the water until we were both soggy and muddy."

"I think he was more annoyed at us bringing it home and then dripping all over the floors," The southern Nation mused, cuddling back and wrapping an arm around Mathieu. "Sometimes I miss those days, ya know? Not that I regret what I've done since then but…"

"Things were easier," Mathieu replied, understanding completely. "We didn't have to deal with all of these politics or economics or the affairs of other countries as well as our own."

"Yeah," Alfred breathed out, a cloud floating away into the darkness.

Something in his voice caught the Canadian's attention, and he had a good feeling of what it could be based on the previous topic. "Hey, we've made up with Arthur since then, haven't we? And even Francis has come around - it's almost like a family, if the parents are always fighting and making up endlessly."

"And the kids are fucking behind their backs," Alfred muttered, drawing a laugh from his boyfriend.

"I don't think it's behind their backs if they catch us making out in an elevator. Twice."

"Hey, you started both of those, you perv. I was just retaliating in self defense."

"Is that what it's called these days?"

Alfred huffed in mock annoyance. "Seriously though, those weren't nearly as bad as the time Ginny caught us in the kitchen; at least they already knew we were together."

"I'm surprised she took it so well," Mathieu hummed, turning his head slightly so his cheek could rest against Alfred's shoulder. "I always thought the South would be fairly unified in their freaking out about us once they found out."

"She'd probably had a feeling for a while that something was up, considering she raised me. Probably just glad it wasn't something worse."

"Mmm, I think it was the same with Joseph. Or at least he wasn't as bothered by it as Henry and the rest of the Prairies were."

"At least they apologized later," Alfred shook his head. "I'm pretty sure a few still haven't forgiven me for 'betraying their trust' or whatever. Ginny says they'll come around eventually even if she has to chew them out again, but they aren't being vocal about it, so I'll live."

Mathieu grinned as a particular memory popped up. "Remember how Sam reacted when we were telling the southwest?"

"Oh god, he didn't even get two lines in before Bella turned on him and started chewing him out," Alfred laughed as well. "Almost felt bad for him by the end, but he needed it I think to snap him out of his knee jerk reaction."

"I can't decide if that or Percy's reaction was the best, to be honest."

"It's hard to say, on one hand you have this tiny Hispanic woman chewing out a guy twice her size with him quaking in his boots, and on the other you have the guy who literally swore he'd kick the collective asses of the entire south if they gave us trouble. Course, Ben claiming he'd join forces for that just made it better, but it's still hard to say which wins."

"I'm just glad we have most of them on our side," Mathieu hummed, looking back up to the skies as his internal clock counted down towards midnight. "It's nice to not have to really hide it from people anymore."

"It is," Alfred agreed, sighing again and letting his head tilt so it was resting on Mathieu's shoulder. "Like, I didn't really mind keeping low key since our relationship isn't anyone else's business anyways, but I don't have to skirt around it if the topic comes up anymore."

"It certainly makes life easier, doesn't it?"

"Yeah."

The two lapsed into a comfortable silence, mentally ticking down the minutes until midnight officially ushered in the new millennium for them. In his mind's eye, Mathieu could picture several of Alfred's States dragging their fireworks outside, checking them over and positioning them so that right when the clock hit 12 they could light them and celebrate properly.

For now, though, the illusion of the world being just them persisted, both enjoying the stars in the last few moments before they were washed out.

At five minutes to, Alfred spoke up again, voice quiet to avoid breaking the spell. "What're your New Year's goals? I mean, we're going into the twenty-first century, so you probably have big ones, right?"

Mathieu hummed, his hand having long ago found Alfred's hand now running his thumb in small circles on the back of it. "Well, finally getting you into that sexy little Santa outfit one of these Christmases is certainly up there."

"Mattie," Alfred whined softly, lifting his head from its resting place.

"Of course, finding a way to christen the north and south poles will be a much rougher endeavor, but I'm sure we can manage both with a bit of creative and long term planning."

" _Mattieeeeeee_ ," Alfred was flushing a brilliant red, drawing an even wider grin from Mathieu.

" _Of course,"_  The Canadian continued, dropping his voice as he switched to French. " _If you're just talking about tonight specifically, there's plenty of things I can think of to do to properly start the year off."_

"You know that's not what I meant, you pervert," Alfred shoved at his boyfriend, hiding his face behind his other hand while Mathieu laughed. "I was just thinking of things like, since it sorta marked the start of our relationship, we could, like, have our fiftieth anniversary on the Moon or something."

"The Moon?" Mathieu glanced up to locate it on instinct, only just remembering that it was just past the New Moon phase and so wasn't visible right now.

"Well, yeah, wasn't that what started it all?" The American asked, shrugging. "I'm sure Tony could help put something together if we asked him, and it'd be hard to beat the view."

"It'd certainly be less crowded than a restaurant," He agreed after a bit, still marvelling at the fact that such a thing was even feasible for them. If nothing else, it sure beat the idea of a romantic dinner in a park with the full moon hanging overhead.

(He wondered what it'd be like to have dinner under a sunlit Earth.)

"That might be part of the motive, I guess," Alfred laughed as he leaned back in to snatch up some more warmth in the cold night. "And maybe if we hit our hundredth we can go for Mars next."

"You're just hoping for a string of excuses to take me around the solar system, aren't you?" Mathieu grinned, not denying the idea would be hard to beat in terms of experience. More to the point, the idea of them actually reaching a hundred solid years of an ongoing relationship was enough to make him feel giddy even with all the unknowns to come.

"Well, yeah, what'd you expect?"

The Canadian snorted. "My boyfriend, the space nerd."

"You still love me, though."

"Of course I do," Mathieu smiled as he turned to the other, feeling the last few seconds begin to count down in the back of his mind. "Was there even any doubt?"

(There have been five great kisses since 1642 B.C...(before then couples hooked thumbs.) And the precise rating of kisses is a terribly difficult thing, often leading to great controversy...

Well, this one left them all behind.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe I ended this fic with a Princess Bride quote. What has my life been reduced to? Ah whatever it's done and I'm happy with it and I might write more drabbles related to this in the future possibly so look forward to that. But yeah I hope you all liked this, lemme know what parts you enjoyed most so I can try and emulate those in future fics maybe.


End file.
